God has been showing me his sense of humor for quite some time now and I’m learning to appreciate the way he jokes around with me. For instance, he knew this whole time that I would be squad leading and back on the field quicker than I could get over the disgust I had for pb&j sandwiches and white bread after eating them for a year straight. Or freezing cold showers and cockroaches. I honestly don’t know how he worked his magic to get me here to El Salvador but most days I just lay in bed thinking of how funny he is and how much he royally dooped me.
The world race was one of the hardest years of my life physically, emotionally and spiritually. It forced me to feel emotions I never allowed myself to feel, it empowered me to seek Jesus’ face and live in the Spirit, and it also taught me freedom through brokenness. The race was also the place where I found my identity in Christ and learned to trust in The Lord. It was full of beauty and grace; such sweet, sweet grace from The Father. But above all it was really hard. I feel dramatic saying that, but it was very difficult for me for the majority of the race, and for that reason I never saw myself coming back on the field.
Now here I am, going into week three of squad leading a Gap year. How did I get here? I honestly can only see God’s work through this entire process. I thought I was supposed to be going to Spain in January of next year but I now couldn’t imagine being anywhere else in the world than right here with this squad. Most days I feel overwhelmed by the love of The Father and through the love I have for these kids (they hate when I call them kids).
God has proven me wrong over and over again. He fills me with such peace and contentment while being here. For the first time in my life I feel 100% content with where I am and what I am doing. I was dreading so much coming here and now I can’t imagine living life any other way than how I am here, right now. Jesus is at the forefront of my thoughts, prayers and conversations. I am communicating with him throughout my entire day and that is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced. The bible tells us that we were created to live in the here and now, because that is where the Spirit is, and I finally understand. Any time wasted thinking about the future or the past is keeping me from hearing what he is saying right now. I only want to live in the now and I thank GOD that he brought me back out to teach me this. I’m already in love with squad leading and experiencing the Lord in all of these new ways. I feel so honored to serve these people and share the crazy story of what he has done in my life.
I want to say a huge thank you to those at home who pushed me to do this, gave me encouraging words and who spoke so much life over me in order to get here. I truly could not have done it without you all! Jesus is so so good and I cannot wait to share how he continues to teach and grow me through this process.
I’ll keep you all posted about my life in El Salvador, Malawi, and the Philippines!!
I am also still funding to be here so please prayerfully consider partnering with me through that and through prayer!! Y’all are amazing.
