He ran into my arms with full force and continued to tightly wrap his little hands around my neck, squeezing as hard as he could. His smile was as bright as the sun that blazed upon our faces and when we finally made eye contact, I saw Jesus’s face.
On the first day of VBS in Haiti I met a little 4 year old boy named Fenzy (he’s the one in my right arm in the above photo). His brother dragged him off the school bus and into the horse barn where the other 300+ children were sitting. Fenzy was so scared and timid as he sat two seats down from me. I reached out to grab his hand as I said hello and he quickly pulled his arm away from me and buried his head into his brothers arms. There was something special about this little boy, but I could not put my finger on what it was. All I wanted to do was show him unconditional love, but that is not what he wanted. As the day went on he continued to avoid me and refused to share eye contact.
As each day went by, Fenzy started to slowly warm up to me. On the second day he sat next to me and would make slight eye contact when I said hello. He would wander around with the other kids but for the most part he would stay in the proximity of wherever I was. It was on day three when Fenzy finally let me hold him. He would give me a slight smile and a curious look every time I tried to make conversation, but made major improvement each day. Slowly but surely he was warming up to me and I was so happy about it.
The last day of VBS rolled around and I was so sad that it was all coming to an end. We had spent four consecutive days with the same 3-5 year olds for about 3 hours a day. I fell in love with the children and Fenzy had a special place in my heart. Believe it or not, everything changed on this last day of Vbs. He was so happy to run off the bus and join us in the boot barn with the other children. He made sure I carried him around all day long and had a smile on his face the whole time. If ever I put him down to hold another child, he would just walk right alongside me holding on to my skirt or my fanny pack. No matter where I went, he was right by my side. I remember feeling so happy to see how safe he felt with me.
As we were all walking to the boot barn at the end of the day, I realized it was the first time in four days where I didn’t have three kids in my arms. Moments after I had thought this, I heard a faint laugh in the distance of what sounded like a little boy. I immediately looked up from the road to see Fenzy running at me full force with the biggest and brightest smile I’ve ever seen. His arms were held wide open, expectant for me to catch him as he leaped into my arms, causing me to fall to the ground in laughter. He wrapped his little arms around me so tight, and kissed my cheek as I gave him the greatest hug. This was the first time I felt love from Fenzy, and his need to be noticed and loved by someone else.
I can remember that moment as clear as day, as it is still the highlight of my race so far. In that second I realized that is how our relationship with Jesus is. Jesus is waiting for us to leap into His arms so He can pour all of His love on us. Fenzy portrays all of us who have little faith. Those of us who are scared, and timid when it comes to a personal relationship with our God. We are scared of not deserving the love He has to offer, we are afraid that we won’t be able to give up the ways and ideas in our life that we have held on to for so long. Fenzy was afraid of me when we met day one, but God gave me a heart for Him. God gave me love to pour out onto a little boy who craved it so badly. By the end of it all he was so excited to leap into my arms, and had faith that I would catch him. I want to forever have the faith of Fenzy. I want childlike faith to do anything that God prepares for me, knowing that He will always love me and keep me safe in his arms. I will never forget the shy little boy who showed his faith like I’ve never experienced before.
