Ashli Blackwell is a dear friend of mine on the I Squad and although I am not on her team, her process, feelings, and experiences are precisely the motions I am going through right now. Please be sure to keep up with her posts as well!(www.ashliblackwell.theworldrace.org).
Raw Abandonment.
One thing I promise not to do is mislead you into thinking I’m okay when I’m not or that I’m not okay when I really am. The last thing I want is for a future racer to read my blogs and decide to apply for this mission because it sounds cool or fun or glamorous. Because the truth of the matter is, I’m three weeks into my race and I want to pull my ever-loving hair out. I have to get this out; I’m just going to say it:
THE WORLD RACE IS FREAKING HARD. Sometimes? It’s EXTREMELY HARD.
Yes, I read the blogs by other racers before me: “Don’t go on the World Race If…” and “A Blog to Future Racers” and everything in between. I’ve talked to alumni racers, AIM staff, pastors, friends, and even my own teammates. I’ve read the books, gone to the conferences, and bought the t-shirts. But the thing I’ve realized? Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is going to prepare you for this adventure.
Since being in Africa, I’ve decided a thing or two. And here, I will share with you my thoughts.
First of all, abandonment is a process. I’ve found that a lot of racers have this unrealistic notion that as soon as our race starts, we simply flip this switch and all of a sudden we are okay. Okay with living out of a backpack. Okay with not showering. Okay with leaving people behind whom we love so much. Okay with living in community. Okay with sleeping on the ground. Okay with cultures that do not function like your own. Okay with dirt and hairy legs and no electricity and no Internet and no money and no vehicle. Well Racers, breathe easy. I’m here to remind you that it’s OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY.
Secondly, abandonment is a must. You will not make it 11 months on the World Race if you do not press into the process. There are times that this culture just does not make sense. Why is no one on time here? Why don’t they eat when it’s mealtime? Why do people lie just to tell you what you want to hear? One thing our team is trying to be more aware of is cultural sensitivity. “We can’t just come here and expect to live the same way we do in America,” my teammate Liz reminds us during family time. We must press into the people, the culture, our contacts, God, our team, and ourselves. And from that, abandonment flows naturally.
Lastly, abandonment is good. The word abandon can be scary. Who wants to leave behind the people who are closest to their heart? Who wants to drop all of their expectations for the sake of other people? Who wants to sleep on the ground, eat unfamiliar food (or miss meals all together at times), not have a car to jump in when you want to go somewhere, shower out of a bucket or with baby wipes, and live closely with 6 other people who were strangers to you a few months before? In what world does that make sense? I’ll tell you – this world; because when we are stripped of the things that make our life easy, we have nothing and no one to cry out to but the Father. My team is amazing and they support me and encourage me and carry me through the day. However, when I am weak they are not my strength, He is. When I am sad and missing home, they are not my joy, He is. When I am frustrated to wits end, they are not my peace, He is. And He is good. He has called us to abandonment and while it is one of the hardest things I have ever done, it is good.
If you’re considering the World Race, you’re crazy. You are insane. This process is tough and rough. But I don’t believe it’s any harder than a man prophesying rain and building a huge boat. Or any more insane than a man holding up a rod and splitting a vast sea. And it’s certainly not any more painful than a man hanging on a cross to save humanity. The people we read about in God’s word did crazy, insane, ridiculous things but they did them because it was what God called them to. They were able to complete it because it was performed in God’s strength and through His power, not their own.
So I say again, if you’re considering this, you’re nuts. But people said the same about Noah, Moses, and Jesus.
And they were history makers.
