A year ago today I was coming back home from training camp bursting at the brim with excitement, anxiety, and every emotion in between. I had roughly six weeks before launching, my mind full of wild expectations. I was ready to go out to heal the sick, cuddle babies, and witness miracles. I had no idea what the Race would actually hold but nevertheless I was bright eyed and bushy tailed. I can only equate it to the feeling I had walking in to college completely clueless as to what the next four years would hold. Except multiply that by 10. And then that by 100 more.
I was naïve to say the least.
Now here I am, preparing to board the first of three flights home and I’m in a little bit of shock. Or maybe a lot a bit. I’m not really sure.
For the last eleven months, I have called at least eleven different towns in eleven different countries home. I have eaten weird food. I’ve experienced more sick days than I ever have before in my life. I found a new family in my squad and made life-long friends in each country. I overcame personal obstacles and rebuked lies the enemy has spoken in to my life for years. I missed four weddings, three funerals, and multiple engagements. I celebrated and mourned with my team. I experienced at least twelve different languages or dialects. I fell in love with new countries, cultures, and people. I learned more about myself and about the Lord than I thought humanly possible.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I won’t lie to you, I’m absolutely terrified about what coming home will look like. I’m afraid that I won’t be who my family and friends are expecting me to be. I’m scared of becoming complacent and numb toward the world. I’m nervous about reintegrating in to the work force.
What about finding a new community?
Or how about all those friends that moved after graduation?
Don’t even get me started on my plans for the future.
All of it washes over me like a waterfall of “what the what is my life even?!”
So here are some things I need you all to know before my awkwardness clouds all reason:
- I am so excited to see and catch up with each and every one of you more than I could ever say.
- When asked “How was your year?” there is the distinct possibility I will be rendered speechless. Bear with me, it’s hard to summarize an entire year and it may take more than one conversation. Try to ask more specific questions like “what was your favorite month?”, “what was your least favorite month?”, “who had the deepest impact on you?”, “what was living in constant community like?”, things of that nature.*
- I want to hear about what I’ve missed in your life as well! I’ve been a spectacle for a year now, allow me to be a spectator and to hear the struggles and victories you’ve experienced so I can mourn or celebrate with you.
- There are going to be times where I have no words to explain how I’m feeling or what I went through. There are also going to be times where I can’t stop talking about ministry, my team, or all the emotions. Finding a happy medium will come with time.
- I may be a little different, I may have some new habits or quirks, and I may use weird words from other languages or from my teams. This year has been messy, exciting, and earth shattering. But I’m still me. I still love cats, coffee, and country music. I still am passionate about social justice and I still erupt with joy when I experience things I love.
Katie from a year ago and Katie from today are both very similar and radically different.
The World Race is over.
Now the true race begins.
Love for the last time from Kenya,
Katie Mere
*Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the honest answer to. If you don’t want a lot of detail, that’s okay and I won’t be offended if you say so. But if you ask deep questions and then check out, it will make the adjustment process so much harder. I promise to love you the best I can if you promise to offer me the same in return.
