Home.
Confession: One of my guilty pleasures is the TV show Glee. I can proudly say that I watched every single episode even up until the very end when things got weird and they did not sing as much. I have memories from college watching Glee every Tuesday night with my team and being completely dedicated to the ritual of going to Wolf Street, not texting or talking while the show was on and discussing what had just happened as the commercials started rolling. I remember the people that I watch with and the community that the show created. There was a core group of us and it was always a triumph when someone was added.
One of my favorite songs from the show was a mash up that they did as the “older” students came home from college for thanksgiving. (Homeward Bound/ Home) It was a simple song but it always reminded me of the people and places that I have called home during my lifetime.
“And every strangers face I see reminds me that I long to be… The trouble it might drag you down, if you get lost you can always be found. Just know that you are not alone cause I am going to make this place your home. Where my thoughts escaping, where my musics playing, where my love lies waiting silently for me.
Settled down it will all will be clear.”
As humans we are always searching for home, whether we know it or not. We are always on the move to create a bigger and better home, to find the perfect spouse to complete our home, filling up rooms with things, and even trying to find the places where we feel the most comfortable. With home comes comfort, understanding, freedom and peace.
Over the past month the Lord has urged me to continue to explore the definition of home. To dive deeper and push myself to find my true definition, because he does have something bigger and better for me.
To start home for me has always had a physical address attached to it. The most obvious answer: where I was born and raised. As I got older my “home” grew into homes, as I started to have my heart strings planted in other places. The Duck house or the lacrosse field became places of refuge, comfort and places where I could just be.
Last year my definition shifted from a physical address to the people that the physical address represented. Doing life with twelve other people for an entire year changed a lot of things. I had a group of people that knew me and knew my heart. These were the people I did life with and that fought for me as I fought for them. These were people that I shared great moments of joy and also moments of sadness. For me I thought that this must be the true definition of home. So whether it was my own family, the Goodrich’s, my lacrosse team in college or even my beloved jolly ranchers I could feel at home. However the Lord has shown me over the past 3 months that this definition is closer but the Lord has more.
(Every strangers face reminds me that I long to be…)
Being removed now from both my physical homes and my people, has changed things once again. The Lord has started to show me that our true home is not a physical address or even the people that occupy the space but it is simply in the arms of our creator. I think that I have always know that but what does that mean and even more importantly what does that feel like?
(The trouble it might drag you down, if you get lost you can always be found)
At the beginning of last month I started to get home sick. Around the same time, I started reading a book called, “The Return of the Prodigal Son” by Henri Nouwen. (First off if you have never heard of Henri Nouwen you should probably stop what you are doing and go get one of his books, he has quickly become my favorite author.)
This book is a story about homecoming. Nouwen breaks down the famous passage out Luke 15, and allows us to see that we often relate to the younger son that is returning to his fathers house when in reality we are really the older, resentful son, but more importantly that we are called to be the loving father that is welcoming his son back HOME.
“The story of the prodigal son is the story of a God who goes searching for me and who does not rest until he has found me. He urges and he pleads. He begs me to stop clinging to the powers of death and to let myself be embraced by arms that will carry me to the place where I will find the life I most desire.”
What do I most desire…
One of my favorite things in life has been playing sports. I love being a part of a team and working together to accomplish something, and when everyone is on the same page it is even better. But as I look back on every game I have ever played in my favorite part of every game has been the moment that the game ended. Win or lose I knew that on the other side of the field or just down the bench was my father, who was waiting to give me a huge hug. To embrace me in his arms and say how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. This became a ritual after every game that I played in and became what pushed to me run harder and dig deeper. I wanted to make him proud.
I believe that the Lord gave me an earthly father that knows how to love well. Through the ups and downs and all of my troubles I have always had my father on the other end of every situation waiting to user me into his arms to take care of my wounds and just love me with where I am at.
When I think of my heavenly father I get overwhelmed thinking that he could love me more than my dad, but the truth is that he does and he loves my father as much as he loves me.
(Settle down it will all be clear)
In John 14:1-4 it says,“in my fathers house there are many rooms…”, which means that as a child of God we all have our own unique place that the Lord is preparing for us. I will have place in heaven that the creator of the universe is creating just for me. How crazy is that??!! When I think about all of the beautiful places of the world and all the moments that I have been overcome by joy, to think that the Lord is creating something even better than my earthly mind can imagine is mind boggling.
And what is even better than that is that the Lord is fighting for all of us here while we wait. He is constantly trying “to make this place our home”, knowing that he has our true home waiting for us.
So while we wait the Lord is doing everything he can to urge us back into his presence.
If we believe in the gospel than we believe that Jesus was sent to offer us a way home through the cross. To bridge the gap and grant us the ability to have a relationship with the Lord while we are here on earth and because of him he have a hope for our future home.
He will continue to offer us a way home every single day and will not stop until we are truly there. When we walk through the gates of heaven and are physically embraced by our creator for the first time, that is something to hope for. I am living my life for that moment just as I played for the end of every lacrosse game. To be truly embraced by my father and have him say well done my daughter, I am so proud of you, welcome home.
I hope my room in heaven smells like pine trees,
Psalm 84,
kt (MP)
Love you (Popsicle), miss you everyday.
