This is a journal entry of mine, based on the book Cold Tangerines. I have changed and modified her words to fit my life.
It’s too easy.
It’s too easy to get strung up in the hustle and bustle and the “what’s next?” or the headlines and the negativity. So I’m taking the difficult way out, I’m going to choose to find God in my daily life, through the clutter of this world. Because what if my best friends smile was my headline or if my hustle and bustle was my walk from one cup of coffee to the next. What if I saw every little blessing God has not-so-secretly hidden in my everyday. I think that if I became aware of every single blessing in front of me, it would make that pile of dishes a little smaller, or even make me grateful that I have a large community to share meals with, and realize that I’d rather clean all day than eat alone. I think that if I laughed every time I dropped my toothbrush on the ground instead of complaining I’d have more peaceful mornings.How about every time our campus ran out of water I looked up and chuckled because for a hot second I thought I was deserving. Or if I’m asked to pick up my things and move outside that I’d be glad that I have the opportunity to star gaze myself to sleep. I long to be genuinely grateful for huge mango trees, and the sheep/goats that roam our yard and ask for my lunch, and the pleasantness of 4:30pm or the way that every single sunset on this island knocks the wind out of me.
I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want it to get in the end, or tomorrow even and realize that my life is a collection of chores and meetings and receipts. I want to to eat huge avocados and ride down dirt roads on tuk tuks and wear Chacos and long skirts and chase kids around singing and dancing, pretending like I never grew up. I want to laugh all night and fall asleep looking at the stars. I want to sleep hard in my double nest eno and eat too much rice and beans. I want to smile and create and dream, and get so passionate I can’t help but jump up and down. I want my everyday to make God belly laugh. When I’m chasing down locals on the street and dancing wildly with strangers, I want to make Him glad He gave life to someone who loves the gift.
