First off, I want to say sorry that I have not posted a blog in a few months. I just got so wrapped up in all that was happening it was hard to stop and write. Right now I am in Belize, but I think that everyone deserves to hear about my past couple of months before I dive into what I am doing now.
So take a second and rewind with me back to March. I don’t know what you were doing, but I was in El Salvador that month and the Lord was doing some big things like always. My team and I worked with a church that month who loved us all so well. I didn’t even realize how drained I was before we landed, but those people immediately began filling me back up.
The first thing I learned about El Salvador was that they have some of the best food I have ever had in my life. I tasted my first pupusa and am never going back. Pupusas are basically tortillas stuffed with cheese, beans, and pork. When I tell you that I ate these every single day this month I need you to understand that I am not exaggerating at all! I plan on attempting to make these delicious treats at home to share, don’t worry.
The second thing I learned about El Salvador was information about the serious gang problem. My team and I stayed in Delgado which is one of the most dangerous places in that country. It’s dangerous because the gangs have divided it up into different “territories” and crossing a territory line could cause them to kill you. The gangs control almost everything in this country by constantly instilling fear in all the citizens.
The church we worked with is trying to make a change in their environment. So what we did every day that month was go to different schools around the city and preach to the kids. We would go and talk to them and try to explain that they don’t need to get their affirmation from gangs. The first day we went to the schools, José (an incredible man from the church) told us we would be preaching to the age group that is the most targeted by the gang members. My mind jumped to kids in a high school, but instead we pulled into an elementary school.
I stood in front of that classroom and told them about the love of Jesus. There were so many eyes staring back at me that were filled with fear, loss, and hopelessness. The whole time I was talking to them I was praying that the Lord would just give me the words to say, that these kids would be able to feel that I love them so much, and He loves them infinitely more than I ever could.
When we left that day José told us a story that once again broke my heart. He told us that two weeks ago one of the kids in that classroom was found on the side of the road, dead. This child had been murdered and cut up into pieces by his classmates. By those little eyes that had just been looking up at me. How can this be? How do kids get corrupted to do such a terrible thing?
Apparently the gangs have figured it out. They start off by just giving kids a few bucks when they see them for no reason. Now if you are a young kid and you know your family doesn’t have a lot of money, why wouldn’t you take the money? Next they ask you to tell their friend something for them and they give you a new pair of shoes. This continues until they have the kids carrying drugs for them, and until the kid thinks they are in too deep. They don’t even know how to get out, so we tried to explain that the God can help.
We were able to talk to so many kids that month, and even though I know a lot of them didn’t listen, I began to see some of those eyes change. I started to see them look hopeful and expectant. The Lord was able to show those kids a little glimpse of what his love is like that month. I am continuing to pray for all of those kids and for that entire country, I hope you will join me in that.
All of this got me thinking about my life. I started to wonder what sin snuck its way into my life like the gangsters snuck into the kids lives. It is so easy to just accept the way things are in our lives, to just accept the way we do things rather than striving to go forward. I learned a lot that month about trusting in the Lord, about trusting Him to protect me and my team as we went into the dangerous areas of the city. I learned about trusting Him to continue sculpting me into the person He created me to be.
I think the biggest lesson I learned was that asking the Lord to break my heart for things that break His is something that He will do, and when He does it hurts. My heart has continually broken over and over again this year, but God also continues to heal it so that it may be broken again. Stay tuned to hear more heart breaking stories and more about the goodness of the Lord in the midst of that brokenness.
