This month in Malawi was hard for me, but also it was probably my favorite month of the Race so far.
This month has been about trusting the Holy Spirit to move in big ways in us, through us, and around us. We spend most of our time going to different villages/areas, gathering a crowd, and then preaching the word of God. Pastor looks to us and says, “Who is prepared to preach?” The answer to that question is no one, but we translate it to mean “Who is going to preach right now?” Then one of us steps up and preaches to the gathered crowd about the Gospel and about maybe a story from the Bible or an encouraging passage. There is no preparation, no notes, no knowledge of when I’ll be up to preach or who my audience will be. It’s all on the fly. Sometimes we also visit individual houses and have a personal conversation with the family about Jesus and what they’re struggling through and come up with relevant scripture to share with them.
And then people often come forward wanting us to pray for them…Women whose husbands have left them. Parents who can’t financially provide for their children. Mothers holding sick babies. People who are in excruciating pain, who have hearing problems, who have trouble walking. People asking us to come inside their home and pray for their mother or their baby, who is lying on the ground suffering from Malaria and not likely to live much longer. And those who want prayer to grow in their relationship with God.
This month has been uncomfortable, stretching, and exhausting.
First of all, I’m a planner. Never in my life would I choose to preach for 10 minutes without preparing. Speaking on the spot is just not what I would call a strength of mine and standing in front of a crowd is something I like to avoid. But this month I’m doing just that.
And I naturally want to do it all out of my own strength. I want to know that I’m good at something, that I accomplished something, that the message I came up with impacted people.
And if I don’t feel like I’m going to do a good job, why would I do such a thing?
But if everything this month came from only my skills and my knowledge, I definitely would not volunteer to preach.
I’m learning to trust God to work through me and to give the Holy Spirit control of the situation. God points us to passages, feeds us ideas and the words to say, and gives us clarity of mind. I must only trust Him and submit to Him. This month has been about learning that I’m as prepared as I’ll every be just by stepping out in faith and trusting He will speak through me.
We’re also seeing heartbreaking conditions that we so badly want changed and we’re praying huge prayers in faith that God is able to do big things. There’s nothing I can do to heal these people besides cry out for God to take action.
…..
After month 4, we had team changes. We rolled credits on Team Deep Pursuit and moved into a new season of the Race. I’m now on a new team of 7 people, 2 men and 5 women, with only one from my old team. (Look on the left side of this page to check out their blogs too!)
Our new team name is: IGNite.
But we had no idea how truly relevant this team name would be this month and how good of a reminder it would be.
“Ignite” can refer to our desire to ignite souls for Christ, set fires in people’s hearts and in each other’s, bring energy and enthusiasm wherever we go, and be a team that takes initiative to make things happen.
But more significantly, the IGN stands for “I got nothing.”
It’s a reminder that Jesus is the only one who can change hearts, who can heal the sick, who gives us thoughts and words to say. We are just vessels that Jesus uses to do his work. While we each have unique gifts and strengths that we bring to the table, it isn’t about what we have to offer because really we don’t have anything to offer without God. We want to make everything all about ourselves, when really everything comes from Him and goes back to glorify Him.
I need to focus on Him and not on myself, focus on His strength and not on mine, focus on the change He can make in lives, not the change I think I can make.
It’s all from Jesus. I Got Nothing.
It’s only in realizing that “I’ve got nothing” that I’m then able to be used for great things.
If I waited to preach until I felt ready, until I felt eloquent with my words, until I knew every perfect word to say, until I had more knowledge of the Bible…. I’d never do it.
If healing practically made sense, we wouldn’t step out in prayer. But, again, we have a powerful God “who can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” (Ephesians 3:20)
If I had to pick one word to represent this month in Malawi, the word would be “power.”
We’re experiencing and relying on God’s power as we share the gospel, witness people putting their faith in Christ for the first time, pray big prayers, see heartbreaking conditions, and end the day physically and emotionally drained only to rely on Him for energy.
(Feeding children in a village rice and beans)
