It is funny how quickly things change around you. The high of last month came crashing down on me the first time I entered the Spanish speaking school where I am to teach English this month. Looking around at all the little curiosity filled faces staring at me I felt my own inadequacy…
I felt inadequate…
Because I never furthered my education after high school…
Because I didn’t really pay attention during the two years of Spanish I took…
Because education is a gift and it is one that I never really took seriously…
How does the uneducated educate?
How does the rule-breaker enforce rules?
How does an artistic photographer become an English teacher for a month?
It has been a week and a half of forcing myself to go to the school where I am bombarded with questions in Spanish that I have no way of understanding from twenty or more students for hours at a time. As the days move forward I keep praying for words, lesson plans, thoughts, ideas, strength, anything that helps me not become overwhelmed to the point of breaking. It sounds silly, I know; who ever thought that I would make it to month ten of the World Race before hitting a unsurpassable wall in myself.
The truth of the matter is I am ill-equipped for this task… And that is ok… because of Jeremiah.
and God.
Mostly God…
This morning I leaned up against the unsurpassable wall in myself and opened my Bible to Jeremiah.
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.
‘Ah, Sovereign Lord,’ I said, ‘I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.’ But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,’ declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 1:5-8
Jeremiah did not have to go into a Spanish speaking school to teach little humans how to speak English, but he did have to live in Israel during a time when the Jews were rejecting God. He had to speak to those didn’t want to listen.
Jeremiah and I are not in same situation, but the same Father formed us in the womb. I am not a prophet to the nations, but I am servant.
This month I have heard myself saying, “I am ill-equipped for this task” way too many times to count. While it may be true that I am not able to efficiently teach English, I am able to keep trying. God said to go and do as He commands. I just have to keep trying.
Peter was a fisherman. David was a shepherd. Joseph was a prisoner.
I am a photographer…
and sometimes, a teacher.
All for now through the eyes of a storyteller.
