Why don’t we play like kids anymore?
There is a picture that I have been carrying around with me since I left the house for college. I has set on numerous desks and shelves throughout the past 6 years and now finds itself tucked inside the front cover of my bible. It’s the cutest picture of my brother, my sister and myself when we were three, five and seven. My arms are wrapped tightly around both of them. We are smiling the biggest, toothless grins, and must have just had breakfast because we are dressed in what we would normally sleep in – an over sized t-shirt, a slip and a onesie. I wish I could share this picture with you all! Besides missing teeth and bright smiles, we all have naked knees full of cuts, bruises and scars.
This picture takes me back to some of the nastiest scrapes and bruises that we would get – crusty, bloody skin with pebbles caked into it Ah! – They would come from endless hours of play, tripping in the driveway, falling off bikes, out of trees and off trampolines, crashing on roller blades, rug burns from sliding down the stairs in sleeping bags and scars from running through sliding glass doors you though were open (2 stitches!). I don’t even remember crying, but I am sure if we did my mom and dad would pick us up, dust us off and send us back outside – temporary pain. My dad used to call our scrapes and scars a “Badge of Courage”. I remember telling people when they would see the band-aids or open wounds that they were more than a mark – they were a “Badge of Courage”,
My “Badge of Courage”
We played with reckless abandon. My sister, brother and I would spend hours playing with each other and in that we would laugh, cry, fight, but most of all LOVE. We knew how to love each other with that same reckless abandon we played with. And here I sit asking the question…
why don’t we do that anymore?
I guess when you grow up some you see more of the pain and hurt that comes along side loving like that. The wounds and scars don’t seem so temporary at the time. The anger, jealousy and competition start to creep in. It’s hard when that world starts to surround you. All that love you used to freely give away seems like it has an application process, full of tests and trials before it even considers giving itself away, and even at that there is still a security line attached just in case.
Being here at the orphanage this month I see even more how important it is to have faith like a child, to love like a child. There are twenty something beautiful little kids here who run up and throw their arms around me every morning – not one question asked, not one judgment passed – they just want to love and be loved. They forgive so easily and again I ask myself – why didn’t I do that with my own brother and sister? Why have I wrapped so much padding around my own heart when it comes to them? I envision a little kid dressed head to toe in a helmet, knee and elbow pads, wrist guards and pillows tied to his front and back. Today I look at love much differently than I did on October 4th. God has brought me on this journey for so many reasons and I am happy that this was one of them. Of course He has taught me many things about love, so many things I am willing to share. How to love complete strangers, the down hearted, the poor, people of all shapes and sizes, an amazing squad of 41 men and women. Most of all I am so happy about what He has taught me about loving those closest to me, especially my brother and sister.
Through the most incredible love that my Heavenly Father has given me, taught me, loved me endlessly and unconditionally with – I have learned to love my brother and sister with that same love. Honestly, they are the one thing I miss most now while I am on the race. (I miss you too mom and dad) With each day that passes I anticipate more and more throwing my arms around them when I get home and loving them with that same reckless abandon that I did when I was seven years old. To jump into love without fear of bumps and bruises, cuts and scars. Knowing love can be messy, a little awkward and a little crazy at times. My Papa wouldn’t hold back for me, why should I hold back for them?
Plus there is nothing wrong with a Badge of Courage or two.
My Dearest Sarrah and Wade,
I miss you two so much and love you even more! Can’t wait to come home and throw my arms around you both, love on you and share my experiences! There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you two! Lifting you up and loving you always, even from thousands of miles away!
