The world race was a year of abandonment. It was a year to learn and experience that the “stuff” in this world is meaningless. It doesnt last and we certainly dont take any of it with us when we live this earth. There were times when even my one pack back seemed to be overwhelming with the amount of stuff it carried. I had more in my pack then most families we visited had in their entire home.
And then i came back to America. Where i had more in my bedroom than most people i met would have in their lifetime. I quickly went from abandonment to abundance. This is what our “culture shock” preparation was, for such a time as this. It was overwhelming to live in such wealth however you would not hear me complain about a bed free from bugs and a warm shower. It felt weird to live in such luxury but i didn’t mind it. I thought the transition was rather easy. To go from nothing to everything seemed easy enough. All this talk about culture shock was not meant for everybody because i bypassed it all together. I was four months in being stateside and i seemed to be in the clear from having any culture shock moments. Or so I thought.
Due to a car accident and finances i have been without a car for 5 years. I have been praying for the Lord to redeem that car accident and bring forth a new car for the last 5 years. Finally, the Lord answered that prayer. With wide open hands i received. I quickly took full ownership of the car. FInally, a car that was MINE. I grasped tightly to control. Within a month, MY car was in the middle of nowhere ( Arkansas ) on the side of the road practically on fire.
When a $2,500 transmission was needed for my car i quickly promoted my car back into Gods name. I no longer wanted the title in mine. The stress of the car and money began to seep into every area of my life. This surfaced culture shock like never before. I hated that my thoughts were worried about a car when others wouldn’t eat that day or even life that day due to lack of …well everything. I hated that my thoughts were consumed with something so worldly. Something insignificant to the Kingdom of God. I had a bad taste of America in my mouth and wanted to quickly run back to Africa.
We live in a land of abundance. We have everything at our finger tips except for Chick-fli-a on Sundays. Yet none of it is enough so we continue to consume more and more. My heart broke for those i met and even lived with while overseas, who had nothing. My heart began to break even more though for those who have everything except for the one thing that matters, Jesus. Life is much more empty when it is filled with everything but Jesus.
I believe we are called to live with wide open hands. In the same manner as i did when i freely received a new car. Were my hands wide open when the car was taken from me? Hardly, they were clinched so tightly that truly only a fire could have loosened them. The posture of our hands truly speaks of the posture of our hearts. Open hands represents surrender. Our hands are open when we give, receive, worship and praise our God. When our hands are closed it usually only means one thing; we are hiding something . Clinched hands represents a lack of trust or a heart that doesn’t want to let go. With wide open hands, we have nothing left to hide.
