For so long i have let the world define me…define my worth and my beauty. The Lord has had enough. He is so tired of his very creation mocking itself. God makes all things beautiful. It is time that we give HIM the glory for his creation.
I am coming to a place where I long to live a life transparency. I am finding how much life it gives to communicate your heart. To shine light on anything and everything that it holds. In high school, I struggled with an eating disorder. One that I didnt tell another soul about. When the Lord captivated my heart, he had no tolerence with me treating HIS temple (my body) like that. Acting out the disorder only happened a few times but the thoughts of struggling with my self image continued for years. Even on the race I have been faced with struggling with eating…but on the opposite spectrum. I have my days where I get homesick and on those days I find myself eating for comfort.The Lord so sweetly reminds me that indulgence is not giving God my best and it is not treating His temple to the highest. Surrender has lead to much freedom from these things but just when you think you have been freed from something…. God says oh with me there is always more freedom to come. To be truly set free you have to be freed from the root of the problem.
I was asked, in Ecuador, to say three lies about my self and then three truths. The lies came out all to quickly but the truths never came. I quickly muttered a few things that I heard others say and then rushed off to the bathroom. The Lord immediately spoke, this is going to change. Just seek me and you are going to know exactly who you are.
I started seeking and I started finding. In hondours, the Lord asked me to give up make-up for the month. I didn’t think that was needed seeing as on the race I only put it on 3 or 4 times a month. Without understanding, I submitted and gave it up. I quickly noticed that insecurity started to rise in me. Within 2 days of giving up make-up, my one mirror on the race shattered. For me it was a wake up call. That even though i didn’t have make-up, I was still running to a mirror to tell me if I was beautiful or not. I will still running to something other then the Lord to tell me my worth and value.
It was that very day that I cried out to the Lord and said I want MY image of myself to be shattered.
Lord I am so sorry I have allowed the world to be my mirror and tell me who I am . I surrender everything and ask you to be my mirror and tell me who I am.
And He did.
I am beautiful
I am His bride
I am His beloved
I am chosen
I am loved
I am accepted
I am a daughter of the Most High
I am filled
I am a mighty warrior
I am the dwelling place of God
I am forgiven
I am enough
I am full of grace
I am full of joy
I am pure
I am a new creation
I am rooted in love
I am faithful
I am secure
I am set apart
I am HIS
Ask the Lord who you are. Let his words tell you. Let his words be your mirror.
Your are who HE says you are.
