1.6.2011 ( note: i will have to back date some blogs depending on the access I have to internet )
I am leaving tomorrow for the adventure that God has for me. I can honestly say this act of obedience has been the hardest I have ever had to follow. For the past two months the Lord has flooded my heart with preparations for this journey. This preparation has been painful. It surfaced things in my heart that are much prettier when left covered but what is hidden remains in the dark. The Lord has been stripping me of myself, in order to redress me in holy garments. The process of being stripped of yourself is painful and messy. It exposes the depths of your heart but it must be done. Its not easy but we have to die to ourselves so Jesus will be seen. If your clothes are dirty do you simply put on more layers of clothes to cover up the dirt. Of course not! We can not cover up the darkness in our hearts with layers of righteousness. We must be completely striped of our self in order to be redressed in holy garments.
Throughout this process, the Lord stilled my heart to keep me from running from my past and forced me to face it with HIS strength. I am learning the great need to allow the Lord to heal our past so that we can walk in the present and towards the future, with an undivided heart. There were moments in these two months were I wanted to refuse this obedience but with the same breathe I would say, I am sorry Lord, do with me as you please. I have been far from walking this road gracefully. I have stumbled through it, hurt others and myself with many falls but thankfully Gods voice remains louder than any other. His voice has placed my feet on this journey so I walking it out in obedience. I walk towards the unknown but expectantly wait for the Lords hand to guide me through it all.
” My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9
Resting in the Lords truth today. Gods power will rest on us through our weaknesses. Rest in Him. He is more than enough. Listening to a song by Ellery right now and it is the echo of my heart. Thank you Lord. I know I have fallen short. Thank you Lord. I don’t say it enough, though I have known your love. You held me in your will when I could not stand still. Thank you Lord. You love me just the same, though I may turn away. Thank You Lord.
