Am I really being called to the Mission Field??
Am I really being called to the World Race in 2012??
Am I sure that I'm even qualified to go??
During the Summer of 2011 God would not allow these thoughts to escape my mind…
My youngest sister (Racer Annee Ballard) came back from Training Camp in 2011 and was excited to share her experience from training camp, her heart for the mission field, and the wonderful new friends she had made at Camp. Just by hearing her testify about the Work of the Lord at camp, i was PUMPED to see God's will unfold in the lives of the Racers in 2011-2012. So I began praying for her life, the WR, and Missions 2012. The first night she arrived in STL, she had exciting news to share with ME: God had given her a vision for MY LIFE during the Training Camp…
I prayed about what we talked about. I knew that God was calling me to missions over seas and I knew that it was perfect timing. I had complete peace about applying, and I had joy in my acceptance. I praise God for choosing me and allowing me to serve Him in the Race.
Where you go, Lord… I will go. Where you go, Father… I will follow.
BUT…
Why would God call ME to go?
Why would God call ME to preach the gospel?
Why would any organization want ME to join their team?
Why would any Mission Team accept ME without a Jesus-Resume?
ANYWAY…
"I am just a baby Christian," I thought
"I am not a seminary student, I for sure don't have a Jesus degree"- I thought
"I am a sinner in need of a Savior each day" – I thought
"I am not experienced in mission work at all" – I thought
Little did I know what God had been planning to work in me…
I hung up the phone from my WR interview with a girl named Ali (Racer Alumni 2010)
and I found myself crying in a pile of laundry on my floor until noon… I kept hearing
"Katie, you are SO…NOT…BROKEN…"
"Katie, there is SO MUCH MORE that I want you to see about Me…"
"Katie, you MUST DECREASE so that I can truly increase…"
"Katie, SURRENDER this year to Me… Just let me break you completely…"
"Katie, this life is NOT ABOUT YOU… it is about Me…"
Exhausted, I crawled into my comforter and the Lord spoke to me with two Scriptures hanging on my ceiling above my bed: Micah 6:8 and Psalm 15
"And what does the Lord require of you: To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. And who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? One whose walk is blameless and righteous, one who speaks truth from the heart and doesn't slander his neighbor, one who honors those who fear the Lord; one who keeps an oath even when it hurts, who lends money and doesnt accept bribes or abuse the innocent…"
This is the one who never be shaken…
I thought in my heart…
I'D LOVE TO BE THIS
I'D LOVE TO LIVE MY LIFE LIKE THIS
I'D LOVE TO PROMISE GOD THAT I CAN AND WILL DO THESE THINGS
BUT, I knew there was NO WAY I was going to promise all these 'righteous things' to my Father; Suddenly I knew that there was no way that I could do this on my own.
In that moment, God softly spoke peace over me-
"This is my perfect will for you, Katie… you're finally walking into something that you'll HAVE TO rely on me for, 100%. This is what I am calling you to, Katie. This is where I want you to learn and grow and REMAIN all of your days, RELYING ON ME100%."
The Truth I am learning is this:
Did you know that life is NOT about me?
Did you know that life if NOT about my lack of a "Jesus-resume/experience?"
Did you know this Race is NOT about skills or abilities or talents or gifts?
Did you know that 2012 is not about me, and not about you either???
The entire year of 2012 belongs to God. 2012 is about the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords! His Name is Jesus, He saves completely and He lives to intercede for His beloved. He is the Author of the year 2012, He is the Perfecter of every World Racer's life… He is the Savior of mankind. I am learning to trust His voice, I am learning to rely on His comfort when I obey His leading and guiding. I am learning that He is ALWAYS Perfect when He prompts me to speak or listen or touch or see or pray or walk or stay or obey or help or hope or love…
I am learning that His Way is the best way every time.
I am learning to walk in righteousness.
I am learning to walk by faith.
I am growing in the desire to please my Friend, my Lord.
I praise God for obedience like this in Believers, because it is exactly what God used to bring me intot the WR family/Kingdom in 2012!
All glory, praise and honor be to Him who is Mighty to Save!
