The past two weeks in the Dominican Republic have been awesome. We got to our ministry contact, HOPE, late on the 10th. We had a relaxing day to adjust to our home for the next month and started ministry work that Monday. My team started with prayer walking. That was such a blessing because it is something we all wanted to grow in. There have been so many things that have happened since we have been here, but that’s for another time…
I wanted to talk more about what God has been talking to me about – my intentions. I would have never called myself a people pleaser, until now.
Everyone wants to be wanted, some more than others. I struggled a lot with it, to the point of wanting to do virtually anything for people if it would result in their approval and gratitude – helping, listening, or anything along those lines; I was always ready, but why? Certainly, those things aren’t bad, but it’s become clear that sometimes I would do such “selfless” acts for selfish reasons … to make myself look better or feel like a better person…
That isn’t why God made me (to have a servant’s heart to serve myself …?) That’s contradictory, and our God is truth, not contradiction. I really do love people, just like God. I like to think that I have an extra dose of compassion and love towards people… Anyway, it has been becoming more and more clear that I was not created to exalt myself, even in doing the most charitable acts of kindness. So, how do I get my intentions right?
Sometime in the middle of our first week here, I was looking out at the mountains, and it hit me. God made me in His image, there is a part of Him in me. Part of His kind, loving, and compassionate heart resides in me. I am His daughter. He made me to show the love that He has for His people, more directly, to convey His love to them, to be a conduit. So, I really don’t need to spend so much time thinking about whether my intentions are pure; in fact, it’s better if I take my eyes off myself altogether. As long as I’m constantly walking with Him and speaking His name, it puts Him above me. Abiding in Him makes His intentions my intentions. And, His intentions are pure. So, here I go. Walking this journey, step by step, with my Creator, my Father. I pray His Light and Love shines forth through me, and that I can simply get out of the way. “Further up and further in!”
