There is a sweet tenderness between siblings in Central America that I have seen in every country I have been in; they take care of each other. The other day during a feeding program, this girl fell over in her seat – white shirt and jean skirt coated in dust. Before I could even move in that direction to help, a little boy maybe about 6-years-old sped past me to lift her up, set her chair on the ground again, then continued to dust her off. He dusted her hair, he adjusted her skirt back to the correct position, and brushed off the rest of the dust. When he was done, he patted the top of her head and just turned around and sat back down in his seat. It was simple, yet beautiful.
I was thinking about my siblings and how they have “dusted” me off so many times. I can remember very specific times when they came to my rescue with either a hug, a laugh, a wise word, or even just their time to spend with me.
I dated a guy most of my High School years and when it ended, I was trapped in between knowing God was taking me out of it and wanting to keep what I was comfortable with – even if that meant sacrificing my spiritual and emotional health. I remember when my older brother Josh and I were standing in the kitchen, he was looking at me and waiting for me to share what was happening. I was in a haze, feeling like I couldn’t formulate words, but I did. I told him that we had broken up and everything that happened. If you know Josh well, you know that he doesn’t just fill space with words. He looked at my tear soaked face, and pulled me into his arms. I couldn’t even hug him back; I just stood there like a noodle soaking in the compassion from my brother while his arms were wrapped around me somehow radiating hope into the depths of my soul. I could hear him crying along with me, and at one point he even pulled back, laughed and said, “Why am I crying?!” I laughed and responded, “It’s because you love me!” It was a silly moment, but in reality it was more than him loving me – it was him feeling the hurt and pain I had.
Josh has deep empathy for others. Empathy is the capability to share another’s emotions and feelings. Empathy is an amazing gift to have, and I have seen more times than not, that this gift is a characteristic of interceders. Even as I type this, I think of all the sticky notes in his office with people’s names on them as a reminder to pray.
I got back from my 1st World Race trip in July 2012, and I was a mess the first night. Re-entry is something the staff at Adventures talks about, but you just never can be fully prepared for it until you are in the middle of it. I remember leaving a restaurant and getting in the car with Josh and Danielle. Danielle was driving, and Josh was in the passenger seat. I was directly behind him nearly having a panic attack, and before I even knew I needed comfort, Josh slid his hand down the side of the car towards me and grabbed my hand to hold it. No words – just empathy. Josh feels the heart of people and can’t not run straight towards it. Whether that means correction or comfort. It is who he has been made to be.
Josh is a man of sound mind and initiative. Those two characteristics combined makes him unstoppable. Not only on this earth but in the Kingdom realm. He is like Paul in the Bible. Paul got things moving, and gave people a loving kick in the butt. He had hard conversations and spoke the truth in love. Because of the way Paul postured his life and allowed God to use him as a vessel of the truth, God’s Kingdom was spread. Josh spreads the Kingdom with everything he does, everything he says, and everything thinks, whether in the business world, church, or friendships.
*He also does something that is both annoying yet endearing… When I am in a bad mood, he will persistently do the most annoying thing to me until it breaks my annoyed barrier and becomes funny. It is his signature move.*
Jonny, my younger brother and I are similar in a lot of ways, but he has such specific, beautiful characteristics that I am still discovering. I can remember watching a home video where Josh and I were playing in the living room while Jonny was over to the side crawling around. He started getting close to the stairs and Mom said, “Kathryn go get Jonny, so he doesn’t fall.” I basically just ignored it. When I say that…I mean like, I DIDN’T even acknowledge it. I am hoping that I was in my own world playing Barbies instead of not caring. A second after that, Josh turned around and went and carried him away from the stairs. I remember that I was probably 14 when I watched that and thought, “Wow I am a bad sister,” but honestly, I feel as though I truly was even while we were growing up. I know it would be a shock to all of you when I say… I was a sassy determined child. (cough**adult) I didn’t have time for ‘annoying’ little brothers. Not to mention, I spent most of my high school years wrapped up in my own world.
I distinctly remember Jonny calling me one day when I was a freshman in college at Oklahoma Wesleyan University. I was sitting under my lofted bed at my desk listening to Bedouin Soundclash. I answered the phone, and he started telling me about this Guy’s Group he was in and what God was teaching him. It was so special to me, and looking back that was probably the first step to the friendship we have now. When his story finished, I started crying and apologized for being such a “bad” sister – for not being there for him and even more so for not seeking him out. Jonny is like Josh as well; empathy is deep in his core. He feels the emotions of other people, and even though he may hate it, it is the most precious gift God could give to a man. He started crying and reassured me that I wasn’t a bad sister. Of course to this day, I still wish I would have loved him better growing up, but I can only go forward now. I am blessed to say he is now one of my best friends!
Jonny and I both have a deep, sometimes annoying love for music. Secretly we have music battles about “who discovered the song/artist first.” Oftentimes, I give him a hard time for “highjacking” the music by never letting me have a turn to pick the next song in the car. In scripture, David was a musician, and I truly believe that’s a reason why David’s relationship was so deep with God. He loved the beauty of music and understood the connection of music to our souls. Jonny and I both understand what finding “the song” for the right moment can do to our day, or week even. Jonny is like David. He is just real. I can’t think of putting it any other way. Jonny is beautifully, unapologetically himself. David was not controlled by people pleasing. Not only that but when people threw arrows at him, he didn’t shoot them back; he dodged them and moved on. Jonny does that. When people throw insults or just poke at him, he has this supernatural God-given ability to brush it off. That is something his older sister needs to learn more of… anyway – another blog from another time.
Jonny is a man of consistency and loyalty. He has always been and always will be himself. It is admirable and rare. People either run from it because it feels foreign to them, and they don’t understand it, or people run to it because it is refreshing and authentic. Jonny has loyalty to his core. He is so loyal, that at times that I remember when other friends in his life were not, he would just move on. He is loyal and craves loyalty as well. He doesn’t just invest to invest, he invests for the long run. It is a beautiful parallel to our relationship with God: “Seek Him with all your heart, and you will find Him.” Jonny teaches others the value of genuine love even when they aren’t ready to understand it. If that isn’t Christ’s heart, I don’t know what is.
*He also does this weird booty shake/dance randomly out of nowhere. Then laughs at himself and when he laughs or smiles fully, his eyes basically disappear. (Usually to the song Boom Boom by Vengaboys.)
The way I get to learn and absorb Christ’s character through both of my brothers takes my breath away. ON TOP of that, they both have an ability to make me smile when I’m not in the mood to even smile. Now that, is a big deal.
God has blessed me with something extraordinary.
I never really noticed it fully until my friend Lara and I were leaving a house that our friend group was hanging out at. She casually started saying to me, “Kathryn do you know how special it is that when you hang out with friends it always includes your brothers? It’s not common for all the siblings to share the same friends. You guys don’t happen to hang out with one another – you choose each other.”
It’s so true, and all I can do is humbly give thanks to God.
I know many of you might be wondering why I am writing an entire blog about my brothers, and there are two reasons. One, because my brothers are very influential in my life and I wanted to express fully the way Christ has walked me into a deeper identity with Him through Josh and Jonny’s character.
Two, it’s been a year long journey learning about the gift I have with the family God gave me. I am proud to say that all of us are seeking the Lord, and we enjoy one another. Obviously I would be lying if I said I enjoy them all the time… I mean, we are human and I don’t exactly LOVE getting farted on all of the time. That makes me annoyed. As a whole though, we seek out one another.
Jesus, thank you for being patient with me as I learn to see your blessings in my life. Teach me to see them more clearly each day that I am gifted with the ability to open my eyes and breathe.
A family photo complete with a pooping dog.
