Re-entry….. wow. I felt like I have stepped out of reality, which is ironic because I felt the same way when I was on the Race. The Race became my new reality, no matter how much I said,”In my normal life, back home….” throughout the year. My reality became ministry, using the power of the Holy Spirit for healing and freedom, corporate worship, feedback, and living in community. Since I got home I have been able to walk out and seek my new reality being in my hometown. I honestly feel like everyone from my squad is in a different season of their lives. Some are in a season of waiting for the next thing, confusion, some people are still on their ‘race’ with the Lord walking them through hard things, and some are in a season of blessing. For me, I am in a season of blessing. I can say for the first time in years that I am perfectly content being is Sheridan and I have learned to stand firm on the promises Papa has told me prior to being here.
You know, I hear all the time from returning missionaries that, “I felt the closest to God overseas…. I have never felt God so strongly than when I was in the country of ______.” Well a huge part of those statements break my heart! What a lie we have believed! Yes, we feel God in an amazing way on the mission field overseas but that should never be the end…. God can use that to ignite something new in our homeland! A huge aspect of being a believer is believing that God is constant! He is never changing, that the GOD of Mozambique, the God of China is the SAME EXACT God of Sheridan, WY! So why can’t I experience God in the same way? Surely, it will be in different situations. Our experiencing God in a uniques way overseas usually comes from the NEED for Him. So I ask myself…. do I need Him right now? I believe our NEED IS AN INVITATION FOR THE SUPERNATURAL. Please read that again…. our need is an invitation for the supernatural. If I choose to not need Him, then of course we wont see God move the same. God can not truly be the supernatural, powerful God He is created to be.
Many of you may have heard the phrase, “The United States believe in God, but other countries RELY on Him.” Just even typing that brings tears to my eyes. What has our faith come to that it is ok to believe that and feel like we need to go overseas to experience the POWER of God. The fix is not to go overseas, however many of us are called to that, and Praise God for that! The fix is to, wherever we are, choose to NEED Him.
When I first got home, I found myself quickly getting wrapped up with my comforts again. I no longer NEEDED God to find a ride into town. I no longer NEEDED God to find my way around. I no longer NEEDED God to intercede on a conversation with someone who didn’t speak english. I no longer NEEDED God to comfort me while I was away from my family. I no longer NEEDED Him in general.
What a frightening awakening that was to me!
“My NEED is an invitation to the supernatural.”
Now I have chosen to NEED Him. My friends, let me tell you right now… my God is still the God of Mozambique and China. I started becoming more aware of the Holy Spirit moving in my spirit wherever I was.
I would like to share story with you that might encourage you all if you have ever experienced something like this.
My family and I went up to Billings, MT (because that is where we go if we need Cosco… this is Wyoming people). Anyway, as we turn the corner to the parking lot there, I see two women standing on the corner holding a ‘stranded’ sign. I felt the Lord pulling me to go talk to them. My human mind immediately thought….”Come on… what the heck am I going to say to them!”
Quiet whisper- “You want to NEED me don’t you?”
…Ok God.
So I was wrestling with myself about whether or not to go right away or walk over when my parents were going to start checking out. I picked the latter. So when it was time, I walked out to the corner and I saw no one! I kinda started panicking actually… I walked around a little circle praying I would find them. When I didn’t, I lowered my head in shame… “God, I should have gone in the beginning, I’m sorry.” I felt like a failure!!!
Quiet whisper- “No, my beloved, I wanted to see if YOU ARE WILLING and now I can use you.”
Can I just tell you how comforting that was to my heart! Wow, I had not messed up, God wanted to see if I was willing and I passed! I have learned throughout my year on the Race how the Lord speaks to me specifically, and it is in a very distinct way, that is hard to explain, but when He speaks, I know it. Well, it had been a month or so since I had heard God spoke to me. I was floating on faith, that God would speak to me the same way as He did on the Race because… OUR GOD IS CONSTANT. That is also why this moment of God speaking to me was so tender. After my faith, this was the moment that I knew that my ‘Race’ with God was going to be until the moment I see His face in heaven, not just this last year. Amen, Amen.
So something I have not shared yet is that I have been doing a Beth Moore Bible Study, The Patriarchs, and have been studying Abraham’s life. (In the past I have said me and the Old Testament aren’t that close of friends…. NOW we are best friends!)
This Tuesday morning, during worship and Bible Study, I was recalling my moment with the Lord in Bllings and reflecting on why God has me in this Bible Study at this point of time. (I strongly believe every season there is a deeper meaning)
Then…God did it again! I am standing there overwhelmed as the Lord poured out the meaning of this season and how it directly reflects Abraham’s life. Here is Abraham, called to this land, not knowing why, but knowing God is promising Him certain things, and God wants to know He IS WILLING to go. Abraham’s response to God is apparent… ‘I AM WILLING.’ And throughout the story you see God fulfilling His promises, calling Abraham to be patient and trust.
For me- “God I know you have called me to this season, and I also know you have promised certain things for me and I am willing. I know you are a God of your word and a God that is sovereign. Teach me to patient and wait on you. Help me fall to my knees and worship you just as Abraham did every time you revealed Yourself to Him. And mostly, continue to teach me to NEED you, to give you room to show up. Let me embrace the uncomfortable for you to create comfort that can only be from you.”
So this is me sharing a glimpse of what God is teaching me, but mostly my hearts passion for sharing this is to ignite something in you all. Whether you have been overseas and share the feelings of so many that you can never experience God the same in the States, may you be encouraged. Or maybe you have never been overseas but feel like you need to, to experience God as the healing, all powerful, providing God He is. Don’t let yourself believe that LIE. Find God right where you are, INVITE THE SUPERNATURAL THROUGH YOUR NEED FOR HIM! May it be in your work, may it be the store, or even within your own family. Sometimes it just takes you walking up to someone you don’t know and asking God to light fire to your words, not knowing what to say but just opening your mouth…. I think you will be surprised by what you will say and how the Holy Spirit will come upon you.
May you and I continue NEEDING our GOD of the world.
P.S. I am speaking the 28th of Oct at Sheridan Wesleyan Church at 8:30 am and 11, please come if you can!
