The sweet little boy, scooted in closer and I held him close and when I held him, I noticed the smell of smoke on his hair from visiting his family. The Spirit started speaking to me that smelling the smoke on his innocent, precious head, represented all the garbage in the world, everything that tries to take us over and steal us, and me being able to lay there, holding him close, loving him like a mom, and rubbing his head despite the dirt on his body, reminded me of how similar God is. Amongst all the trash our lives get filled with God is still wanting to draw us close and love us like a father, letting us see there is better for us… I will never forget that moment.
As I was holding a sign by the street with 30 of my teammates, I turned and noticed how comfortable he looked running from car to car on the busy street, and then all of a sudden a wave of heat hit my heart and my legs started to tremble, as I squinted my eyes and noticed him running from car to car, giving Bible Verses to them, and telling them, “Dios te ama” (God loves you). I realized that he very well could have been doing the same thing in the past but now…. now, it was not asking for money or food, it was FEEDING others, spiritual food. He was doing something God honoring.
I watched as the boy that nicknamed me, ‘Ojitos Bonitos’ (beautiful eyes) on one of the first days there, run from car to car as well, and at every red light, he would go up to a car and with the window rolled down, he would place his hand on their heads and pray for them. I just stood there looking at him, thinking to myself, “God is going to use him in ways he can’t even imagine, God is going to win over Honduras because of these boys.”
I was sitting on a rock by the river, watching the boys, the redeemed, the loved, the chosen boys. They were jumping in and out of the water, splashing around. Not worrying about how they were going to eat dinner, not worried about finding pain thinner to huff, not worried about where they were going to sleep, and most importantly not wondering what being loved meant. Warm tears started streaming down my face. I saw the water starting to shine so bright, as if it were full of diamonds, I felt the Holy Spirit so strongly, and it was filling the water that these boys were swimming in. It was cleaning them of all their past, cleaning them of cigarette burns, cleaning off any abuse, stripping them down bare. The Living Water was flowing over them and promising them a future filled with Hope and Love. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, emotions filling my entire body that I could not put into words, emotions of seeing God’s goodness and hope.
When you sign up for The Race, you expect to be changed. There are, however, few moments on the race the truly, truly, change you forever. Sure some change you for a certain amount of time, but the times I just wrote about above, shook me in a way I have never experienced. Those boys were a real life example of what the HOPE in Jesus Christ looks like.
This month, we were at a ministry called, Zion’s Gate. An American man, Tony, moved to Honduras years ago and from there started it. It is a ministry that brings in street boys, and gives them a place to live. Currently, he has about 8 boys living with him, ranging from the age of 10-17. Each boy had a past, a past that could have easily entrenched them, but the Lord has redeemed them. I would like this blog to explain exactly what I experienced there but there is no way to put it in words. Currently, my team just arrived in Nicaragua, for our final month, and I would be lying if I said I am ready for this month. In fact, I constantly feel my heart pulled back to the boys in Honduras, back to their hugs, and kisses on the cheek, back to movie nights on the lawn, back to bon fires and trips to the river. I often say that it is hard to leave some months, but this month, puts them all to shame. I still find myself tearing up when I look at pictures, or recall conversations we had. Within the first few minutes of being here, some boys on the street came up to us and asked for money, and I realized that I will never be able to look at street children, without thinking, “This could have been the boys in Honduras.” Thank you Lord for breaking my heart for what breaks yours.
I have been avoiding blogging for several reasons but mostly because I knew nothing I could write would do my month justice, so I have decided that it is ok. That whether I can communicate this last month’s impact on my life or not, does not change the fact it happened, and maybe it is something special between my heart and the Lord’s. So I humbly say, ‘Thank you.’
With the night before and the day of leaving approaching, my heart was filled with so much love from each boy, as in their broken english, they communicated to me that I will be missed and loved.”
“I will love you forever and ever.”
“Thank you for your special time with me, it means so much.”
“I have never met people like you in my life.”
“How are you girls so sweet, such honeys, so wonderful.”
“I want to pray for you three before I leave.”
“God, thank you for bring them into my life, I think that you show me how much you love through them.”
“You will always be in heart, forever and ever.”
“Look at the moon, now whenever you look at the moon at home, you can remember the boys in Honduras.”
“Don’t cry, I love you!”
See you soon Honduras, until then, I remember you with every glance at the moon.
