WOW, this should have been written a long time ago, but I have been just so overwhelmed.
So short and sweet is not my style but please hang in there with me and read this.
My Grandma Lainys, my Dad's mom, got diagnosed with Pancreas Cancer a little bit before my fall break this October. Well it just so happened that, I had been planning on going to Las Vegas, where she is from, for this hair show for my fall break, and on those few days I was there, Grandma was getting surgery done. Now, my Grandpa and Grandma on my dad's side has always been so special to me but we never kept in touch too well, or were as close as I hoped. I prayed while I was there that I would be able to have alone time with Grandma and hopefully encourage her, and just love on her. Keep in mind, there were ALWAYS people in her room, so the fact that right before I was leaving I had a chance to lay beside her in bed and talk to her was purely a God thing. She grew up in a Christian home but never really understood what being a Christian really was all about, she struggled in a lot of areas of her life. I was able to talk to her a lot about God and how he used hard situations for the good, and to trust in Him. It was such a beautiful memory with her.
(us being goofy)
My whole family for as long as I can remember has prayed that Grandma and Grandpa would come to the Lord, and at the hospital that day I felt like I should talk to her about accepting Christ, because, that is what we are taught right? However, I had this unexplainable peace that God was telling me, "In My timing, trust in My timing." And I can honestly say, I knew it was not the right time, but I was able to pray with her numerous times, something that I had never done before. I had amazing special moments with my Grandma and Grandpa that trip and I knew things were not going to be the same.
Needless to say, I was right. Since that trip, Grandma and I talked about once a week or more. I always looked forward to our conversations. As simple as they were, it did not matter, it was a highlight of my week.
MARCH 13, 2011
It was her Birthday and I decided to call her, and when we were talking she was telling me about this pain she has been having in her stomach and not being able to sleep. She was on her way to my Aunt's house where my family was also visiting. I felt like God was telling me to pray with her before we got off the phone and right when I was about to ask her if I could pray for her she walked into my Aunt's house and it got crazyyyy loud. I thought, "I will just pray for her later." God was not havin' that! So I reluctantly asked her if she would go to the next room real fast. Right when I start praying, tears start rolling down my cheeks. The thought of this beautiful women, who I loved so much going through so much pain was tearing me apart. When I got done, my she sheepishly said, "Just pray for my afterlife."
OK! UNO Problemo- I am one of those people that like to be prepared, know what to say, be ready for whatever happens.
THAT WAS NOT THE CASE in this particular situation.
Immediately my heart sank and I felt like I did not know what to say, but the Holy Spirit gave me words and I just remember talking and talking. I told her that she didn't have to guess about her afterlife, she could rest assure that she was going to heaven, if she just made the step to do so. She mentioned how she had done so many bad things in her life, and I remember trying to explain as clearly as possible, through my tears and shaky voice, that there is Victory in Christ. I wish I remembered more details than what I do but it was all so supernatural. God just SWUNG open that door and was not closing it until SHE WAS HIS. I continued to tell her how Satan wants us to doubt if we can be forgiven, if we are really going to Heaven, and by doubting the TRUTH that God has laid before us in His Word, it's giving Satan a foothold to tear us apart.
Then my childhood prayers were answered. That day, on my Grandma's Birthday,
she accepted Christ…. To even try to explain what I was feeling would not do justice.
Before I got off the phone, I very strongly felt like God was telling me to pray in power, reminding me He is a God of miracles, for me to rebuke this pain she was having, in HIS name.
NOW
This kind of praying is very new for me, but I did that exact thing. I prayed, I prayed like crazy. At the end, I told her to call me tomorrow and tell me how she is feeling, because I was confident that God would heal her of that.
I hung up the phone and I fell PROSTRATE to my floor and could not move, all I could do was repeatedly yell over and over, thank you Jesus, Yes God, for an hour. I had no words. If someone walked into my room they would have thought one of two things,
1 being, who is this and what did they do with Kathryn.
2, Kathryn has lost it.
Funny thing is now that I think about it, it was a combo of both.
The very next morning my Grandma called me and right away I noticed a difference in her voice. That fragile voice I heard the day before had been replaced with a very upbeat voice. I immediately smiled knowing what was coming. She said, "KATHRYN I feel great, I went to sleep fine, my stomach pain is gone and I got up this morning, took a shower, got ready and now I am going to model come clothes! I have not felt this good in so long." (ummmm MODEL CLOTHES??!?! haha A-W-E-S-O-M-E) It was so foreign to me, I was happy but not at all surprised, I was so confident that God was going to heal her from pain when I prayed it that I knew what was coming. Never in my life, have I experienced prayer like that.
Here's what tops it all off….
THAT morning at Church I was worshiping thinking, "Ok, God I feel kinda dry right now, I don't feel you as strongly as I usually do, but I know that faith is forcing through the dry times so I have faith that you will reveal Your power to me in a completely fresh way when it's your timing. I will praise you through this time."
NOT 3 HOURS LATER………… I felt His power stronger than I ever had in my whole life.
Praise God.
The lesson I have learned-
I grew up in a not so charismatic church, I loved and still love my church but I think the only downfall is, that sometimes I feel as though we focused (or maybe just me) so much on the holiness aspect of what being a Christian is and not so much about the POWER behind it. I mean guys,
WE
SERVE
A
GOD
OF
MIRACLES.
Miracles. Stop think about it. Selah
-Shalom-
Note to Grandma- Wow, I can not put in words how special you are to me. I do not just consider you my Grandma, you are one of my best friends. God has restored our relationship into something much more than I could ever ask for. I know sometimes this mess with cancer seems so discouraging, but God has used something we see as bad for good. For His Glory. Where would we be if you were not diagnosed? God is attracted to our weaknesses, for that is when we call to Him. Weakness is not something to be shamed of, it is an opportunity for us to give our worldly weakness to HIM so he can give us HIS supernatural strength, we need only to ask. I am so honored that I was able to be a part of you coming to Christ. I know most of my life we have been pretty distant but I am excited for what the future has for us. Stay strong no matter what comes your way, you don't have to try to survive on your own anymore. Let God be your comforter and stronghold. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and being so supportive of my World Race. I admire your joy for life and your willingness to help others. God has truly blessed with having you as my Grandma. Never question what God has planned for you, keep moving forward. You will forever be a huge part of who I am. I love you.
ADDED AFTERWARDS
My Grandma e-mailed this blog to her cousin, Rosemary Eliason who has always been a Christian and this is what she sent back… gave me chills!
-thank you so much for sending this ,It really blessed my heart!!! Your moms dying words to me were "please pray for Lainys and Larry you are the one I trust to pray when Im gone" It broke my heart to hear her say that cause I didnt want her to die, and over the years when the Lord prompted me to pray, I would. It was great to hear you had some wonderful prayer warriors praying,also. your grandaughter sounds like an awsome kid!!! what a treasure!!! You are truly blessed!! your mom would be —beside herself with joy!! God be with you in a special way and bless you with continued health. Love Rosemary-
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