I’ve been meaning to sit down and write my “first blog post” for days now, but each time I sit down to do it… nah, tomorrow, definitely tomorrow. I had to question myself the other day. What is it about blogging that makes me feel so uncomfortable. Is it the idea of my thoughts being projected onto a computer screen for any virtual passerby to peer into? What about the fear of being misinterpreted or misunderstood? Could it be the inner perfectionist in me that is tempted to value persona over vulnerability? Or maybe its just the need to feel “inspired” before I could possibly write something worth reading.
Who knows. But I have to remind myself, I do have one goal for my writing: transparency. Oh the joy and freedom that flows from a transparent life. Exposure will always bring freedom. Haven’t you ever read something that is so brilliantly honest that you just can’t help but giggle? It’s truly refreshing. Relatable. Like a sigh of relief. Ahhh, we’re all in this thing together. So as uncomfortable and awkward as it may be to lay my candid thoughts on a webpage, I couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunity. I love the challenge of pushing past my comfort zone. In fact, I’m sure I will be doing a whole lot of that during the Race. And if I’m going to live transparently, I’m left with no other option than to surrender my dignity (which really isn’t mine to keep anyways) and to let go of my concern for how I appear to others.
The great thing about God is that he fully sees us, fully knows us, fully understands us, and fully loves us. Take a moment for that to sink in. He sees into the depths of who I am. He sees all of my faults, weaknesses, shortcomings, stupidity… and he loves me. He doesn’t just tolerate us, he is absolutely ecstatic to be with us. He is delighted to call us his children. And if we think for just one moment that our weaknesses, past failures, or secret sins will deter God from lavishing us in his goodness, my friends, we have been seriously misled. He is not discouraged by our struggles. Your sin doesn’t intimidate him. Your addiction doesn’t frustrate him. He is big enough to handle your bad temper, irrational fears, sexual promiscuity, or whatever else may be oppressing you. Let’s be honest here, if God was even a tiny bit repulsed by the frailty of our humanity like we sometimes think he is, Jesus would’ve never shown up. And he definitely wouldn’t have spent his time befriending liars and cheaters and prostitutes.
Oh, the mystery of such a love! We are fully seen, fully known, and fully loved, even in our mess. And in his love, he offers us an invitation to experience true life. True freedom. A restored nature. Because here’s the reality: When we know we are unconditionally loved, accepted, and deeply cared for by our Heavenly Father, sin becomes very unappealing. Why? Because we found something way wayy better. I am so convinced that if we truly understood how loved we really are, we would be the most joyful people on the planet, full of peace, and walking in utmost integrity. (And that is what we are called to be.) Love is powerful. Transparency is healing. Ahh, If we could only put down our masks and drop our façades and just allow our real selves to be absolutely overcome by the love of our Father. If we could just stop succumbing to the pressures of looking perfectly put together for the sake of seeming spiritual, and instead, find life in baring our hearts to the Shepherd our souls. But even in the midst of process and transformation (however ugly it can get), God really really really likes us. He’s not ashamed of our weakness and he sees through every mask. He is after our hearts. And he was pleased to make his home in us.
“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:4-5
So as I venture into this new world of blogging, I hope to be able to candidly capture discoveries of the heart as I continue on this journey of life. Uninhibited. Reconciled. Redeemed. Learning to walk with God like Adam and Eve did in the garden, naked and unashamed.
