I haven’t worn makeup or had a haircut since January 4. I have worn the same 4-ish outfits every day for the past 11 months. My weight has fluctuated all over the place, depending on how much I’m eating in each country or how much the food does/doesn’t sit well in my stomach. Sometimes after a 40-hour bus ride or 24 hours of plane flights, I look pretty haggard. I’ve gotten some pretty good tans, tan lines, sun burns, zits, and more freckles. Sometimes when I wear flip-flops, I stare at my feet because they actually have a bit of color for the first time in my life. I almost don’t think they’re mine.
Most days, I think I’m pretty funny-looking or plain-looking or haggard-looking or chunky-looking. In truth, I thought those things before I ever left on the Race; only those thoughts have increased for all of the above-mentioned reasons.
But then I think…
I have gotten to hold the hands of, love on, and bring a smile to the faces of precious elderly people who are spending their last days alone. What does it matter that my glasses are outdated by over a decade? They needed love, not makeup on my face or a great sense of style.
I bungee jumped off a 100-foot bridge in El Salvador. Who cares if the harness around my waist made me look extra chunky? God gave me a perfectly capable body, able to jump off that bridge (easily the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life).
I’ve held small children in my arms and comforted them while they cried. What’s a few zits and uneven hair in the light of the smiles radiating from those lovely little faces? There’s no greater beauty than seeing them receive the love of Jesus.
I have held jellyfish in my hand, while snorkeling in the Caribbean. So what if I got crazy sunburns from it? It was worth the opportunity to marvel at God’s creation.
I’ve gotten to sit in street filth with the homeless and share the hope we have in Jesus and pray with them. I’ve gotten to bring the hope of physical well-being through physical therapy. I’ve gotten to hang out with drug addicts and share the One who can bring freedom, forgiveness, restoration. I’ve gotten to be part of a team that transforms the environments we enter through the joy of the Lord.
And at the end of the day, makeup or clothes or bad tan lines have no effect whatsoever on whether I’m obedient to the Lord or whether these moments are meaningful. It just affects how nice I do or do not look in the picture.
Eventually I’ll get back to makeup and normal clothes, but for now…
I’m making peace with the mirror, I think.
