So I have been home now from training camp for almost 2 months and some of you may be wondering where I have been or up to or why I have not written a blog in over 2 months. I have started and deleted this blog now about 50 times. Worried that nothing that I say could actually put into words what I experienced or that it would not come out the way that I wanted it to or I would sound dumb doing it. But…..I am trying this new thing called vulnerability. It is not easy for me to be open and transparent all of the time unless it is with people that know me and know when to ask the tough questions and won’t let “Im fine” slide. Then at training camp they put you in a group with strangers and tell you to work together to complete task AND THEN (if that was not bad enough) you have to talk about what worked and what didn’t work and why in front of your group. Yes that is right you have to talk IN FRONT OF EVERYONE (and by everyone I mean 7 people and yes I am dramatic). For those of you who may not know me well or at all, I don’t like to talk in front of people and share my opinion so this was like a nightmare. They call it feed back and I about wanted to die, come to find out they want you to do this all the time. It keeps communication open so we all feel like we all have a voice. This was all new to me and I was not the biggest fan. All of my insecurities kept creeping into my mind as we had to share our thoughts. Thoughts like they will judge you if you say that, or no one will talk to you if you tell them that. Well that was all a lie (thank goodness). Come to find out I have made faster and deeper relationships with people that week then some of my friends I have known for years. You start live a life not defined by your insecurities but live for him who loves and cherishes you. These people accepted the messy and ugly in my life and reminded me that he makes a beautiful story out of it. I can not wait to spend my year traveling the world with them, learning from them, loving on people with them, and growing with them. This is going to be a crazy, exciting adventure and I can not wait to share it with you all back home.
