Adventures WorldRace SethBarnes Sponsorship Giving

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                It is now my second week of ministry here in Manila. It has been a difficult week for all of us one way or another. Mostly, it is in regards to spiritual attacks in various form. I think mine is in terms of feeling homesick and not really knowing what I am supposed to be doing. I love it here, I really do and with time I am sure I will get less homesick (it comes and it goes). One thing that I am working on is enjoying every moment. When I was in New Zealand for school I was constantly looking ahead, and I couldn’t wait for the next activity. This was partially because I was horribly out of shape and attending an adventure bible school in NZ is quite strenuous. I missed out on so much by not enjoying the good and the bad. When I got back to the states I wanted to go back to NZ (and, I still feel like that is where my heart is; strange I know, since its been 5 years but I still feel like it’s home). Anyways, I do not want that to happen again. This year will be filled with good and bad. It will be emotionally and spiritually draining, but also exciting and the adventure of a lifetime.

                As I was driving back from the refugee camp this morning, breathing in the toxic fumes of diesel fuel and fighting off the urge to throw up because of the roads (I think dramomine will become my best friend this year) I got to thinking about the people in the area and how I look at them. How much do I separate myself from there pain, desperation, and sadness? If I look to closely, it is overwhelmingly sad but I do not want to become hard to them. Even in there sadness and hoplessness they are happy! Can I go a year connecting with people, and then turn around and leave them? Can I go a year with seeing people so helpless? I do not want to be the white person who comes and visits for an hour or so, and then leaves them. Am I really helping them? Yes, we are giving them food but I feel as if they see it as a pity handout (which it is not). It is going to be a year of balancing my emotions so that I do not become empty.
              On another note, I found out my ministry location for next month. On October 15, we will be going to Cambodia and will be living with a previous YWAMer who has a lot of connections with local ministries in the Kampong Thom region (the center of Cambodia). I do not know exactly what we will be doing, but it should be exciting. I’m excited to meet the people, visit places like angkor wat, and hopefully much more.