Trust in the Lord with all of your heart.
A simple phrase that many of us have heard since birth, a phrase that has been the basis of all of our bible teachings with the children in our ministry this month. A phrase that is easier said than done, for me at least.
The Lord recently revealed to me that He does not have my full trust. My future is extremely important to me. I find myself daydreaming about all the possibilities that my future holds, marriage being something that my heart so desperately wants to be apart of that future. Ever since I was a little girl, I remember dreaming about the day that I finally marry my prince charming. Lately, the Lord showed me how these thoughts have become an idol in my life. I have dreamed for a while now of being married in a field surrounded by mountains to the man of my dreams, my hair long and flowing adorned with wildflowers and a beautiful white dress that looks perfect on me. These fantasies have been flooding my thoughts and have been distracting me from the Lord. As silly as it sounds, I have been growing out my hair for the past few years in hope that I would be getting married in my near future. I have always wanted long, beautiful, flowing hair filled with wildflowers like Rapunzel on my wedding day. So…I cut my hair as a symbol of giving that part of my heart to the Lord.
For a while now, the Lord has been calling me into deeper intimacy with Him. At the beginning of the race, He loved me ever so tenderly and told me who I am in Him. I am His daughter. This is good and all but now He is calling me into something more. He has revealed to me that He wants me to now see Him as my husband like that of the relationship between Christ and the Church.
How wonderfully intimidating!
Before I can take this next step in my relationship with the Lord, I have to give Him my future; I have to give Him my trust. I am going to be honest and admit that this absolutely terrifies me because it means that it is now out of my control. I am releasing my idea of the perfect man, the perfect wedding, the perfect life that I have set up in my head. I am now entrusting that with God.
