Today I came accross this piece of paper from a retreat I went on a little over a year ago. On the paper was written:
“Sometimes what prevents you from trusting in Christ is thinking that you already have”
Hearing this quote last year was a life changing moment for me. It’s so weird how one little sentence can stick with you like that and have a ripple effect on your life. I remember telling my focus group that that sentence had stood out to me and no one else had even remembered hearing it. To me this is evidence of the spirit at work. He opens the eyes of your heart individually at the exact right time.
Growing up in church it is so easy to think that you already surrendered your life to Christ. You think you already know. There is a huge difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. I don’t think you can ever fully know God. He doesn’t intend for us to just pray one prayer and then go on living the same life. He wants a relationship. He wants to reveal himself to us…and that takes faith and obedience on our part.
When I realized that I had not actually fully surrendered to Christ, a lot of things changed for me. He blessed me with the opportunity to go to Africa and now he is calling me on the World Race. It’s pretty crazy how much that one sentence caused such a huge reaction, and here I am a year later and honestly, I’m a different person. It’s hard to seek him and admit that everything you know isn’t the whole story. It’s kind of comforting though, to relaize your own ignorance. I know for me, it strengthens my faith because I realize how completely lost I am on my own. I finally stopped thinking that there was some kind of destination I am supposed to be striving for. No, following Christ is an adventure…one that’s not always neat and tidy…it’s the messy kind of beautiful.
