{This is where I was at at the beginning of this month. I wasn’t going to post this blog but when God shows you big things you must post them… but there is a part 2 coming!}
This is month 8. I am in Cambodia teaching English. I am really loving my time here in this country and on the World Race. There is only one thing; I left a large part of my heart in India. I can say truly that it changed me working with those kids. Those kids gave love like I have never experienced before. They gave my heart so much joy sometimes it would move me to tears. For the individuals that are on my squad, on my team, and my family and friends they have heard me talk about these kids for four months now. This is not news to a lot of people but there is more to this blog than me just talking about how much I love this kids. I am talking about what God is teaching me through that love I have for them.
Before the race God asked me to put everything in His hands. He asked me to stop wondering about tomorrow and the challenges and or celebrations that it may hold. As someone that has constantly looked ahead in my life; couldn’t wait to get to high school, then college, then graduate, then move into my own place, then onto the World Race. He asks us all to be present in the moments and seasons that He has us right now.
My favorite scripture says it all; “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5
This is difficult at times. Of course we all have plans and goals for our lives and need to have somewhat of an idea where we want to go in life. Knowing our loves and our passions is a gift. God places those desires in our hearts to help direct us. He opens doors and closes them as well. Praying and looking for the signs that leading us to our calling is key.
I have been doing as God has asked me to do and stayed present where I am at. At times my mind ponders the future and what I may do after the race. For the most part I have kept focused on the here and now. The desire to go back to India is in my heart. I find when I do think about that I get excited, I get scared, I get sad. All these emotions are overwhelming. Slowly God has been revealing to me His plans for me.
My team and I went to church this past weekend here in Phnom Phen called the International Christian Assembly. (First English speaking church in a LONG TIME.. it was quite exciting and also eye opening how much we take for granted the opportunities to go to church in the states.. but anyway) One of the songs we sang spoke to me LOUD AND CLEAR. The words are, “strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, wait upon the Lord”. God is telling me I am rising up in you and those around you strength. The calling the Lord has on my life will require strength. It will require strength to listen, to be patient, to follow through whether or not is it what I have planned for my life. It will require those around me, my family and friends to have strength to support me, to potentially watch me move away, to not be able to see me every day.
THE LORD HAS TOLD ME TO WAIT BECAUSE HE IS RISING UP STRENGTH!!!
That same day at church they were selling a small book written by a former pastor at their church. I found myself drawn to by one after the service. I handed over a $5 bill and felt a little guilty spending $5 on something but for some reason I couldn’t not buy one.
I started reading the book and came across this short chapter: (sorry this blog is getting a little long; but I promise you this chapter is worth the read)
Chapter 2: The King Who Ripped His Clothes
This is the kind of story you don’t read to your children before they go to sleep.
“Samaria. A high walled-fortified city.
One day an army comes and launches a siege.
No one in Samaria can come out. The city is surrounded by troops.
After a few days, food prices go up and it won’t be long before the smell of death starts creeping into every home. Only the rich can now afford to buy what is left on the market stalls.
There’s a king in Samaria. He feels terribly helpless. He might be the king but he can’t help his people.
The bible tells us that, “One day the king of Israel was walking along the city wall. A woman cried out, ‘Help! Your majesty!’ He answered; ‘If God won’t help you, where on earth can I go for help?’
The king continued, ‘Tell me your story.’ She said: ‘This woman cam to me and said, ‘Give up your son and we’ll have him for today’s supper; tomorrow we’ll eat my son,’ So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I told her, ‘Your turn- bring your son so we can have him for supper.’ But she had hidden her son away.’” 2 Kings 6 26-29 The Message.
The king must have heard some terrible stories lately but this one was beyond anything he had heard. I don’t think you can go any lower than that: mothers deciding to have their sons for supper! The bible says; “When the king heard this, he tore his clothes in despair.” 2 Kings 6:30 NLT
When you hear the horror stories on the news almost every day, how do you react? How do you respond to the millions of children caught in the sex slave trade or to the multitudes of souls living in slums like animals in cages? How do you respond to Christians across the Communist and the Muslim world, who, because of their faith, have ended up locked in small, filthy prisons cells?
Does it break your heart? Does it move you to the extent that you cannot help, but rip your clothes too?
A.B. Simpson, a great missionary of the past often hugged a globe to his chest and wept over the world’s lost-ness.
Everywhere I go, I meet people who are moved by the needs and touched in their hearts by the suffering in the world. But very few truly end up tearing their hearts.
If someone is to ask me, “Timothee, how do I know where God wants me to serve Him? There are greats needs everywhere, where should I go?”
I will answer them, “If a group of people, a community, a city, a specific country, something literally breaks your heart, then this is very likely where God wants to use you.”
Too many of God’s people have only unbuttoned their shirts during a short term mission trip overseas or at a church outreach in their community. It’s good, but more is needed. Your clothes have to be torn form the top to the bottom.
Thankfully in Samaria there’s a man of God. He announces that the next day, the troops will have gone, the famine will be over and the gates of the city will be wide open. And it happened just as the prophet had said.
This is what I see here, the very day after the king ripped his rob, the gates of the city were ripped open too.
Friends, the day your heart is ripped open, the gates to your destiny will open up. NO one will be able to stop you from running into your calling.
Some people have prayed for years asking God to open the doors but few of them are really willing to pay the price. Ripping your clothes will cost you but the blessings you’ll reap will be countless.
2000 years ago, the King of kings ripped heaven open to come down into our world. On the way to the Cross His clothes were ripped. His heart was ripped. The temple curtain was ripped. Jesus is calling for “ripped-clothes, ripped-heart followers”.
If your heart is already torn, keep it torn. Don’t go looking for a needle and a thread to sew it up again. Keep your heart on fire for Jesus and for the lost. Don’t let anyone try to make you look more respectable by giving you a new shirt.
The day Samaria opened up again, the crowds like a mob came pouring out through the gate. In that joyful crowd I’m sure there was that boy, the one those two mothers had planned to eat. His life was spared.
Today MILLIONS of boys and girls are trapped in the jaws of death. You’ll find them dark rooms in Karachi or Dhaka making carpets from dawn to dusk. You’ll find them locked up in brothels in New Delhi. You’ll find them eating out of rubbish bags in Kampala and Mexico City. But they don’t have to die. This is, for each one of them, the promise of a new life.
LET YOUR HEART BREAK TODAY WITH WHAT BREAKS THE HEART OF GOD. AND BY ALL MEANS KEEP IT BROKEN. “
