“If you surrender your expectation to what your route will be, place your mark here.” Three of my squad mates and I placed our thumbs in ink and imprinted our promise upon a board held by someone who was a complete stranger. We continued upon the rocky terrain, the four of us gripping a torch between us, not knowing what we would meet next. We went from one board to another promising to lay down expectations and our rights to how things “should” appear on our race. I didn’t really know these people. The boards weren’t signed in blood, and I doubt anyone kept them to remind us of the experience. But I wasn’t surrendering these rights to people at AIM who were kindly waiting in the cold, dark Georgia woods to guide us to a place we were meant to be. I was not giving them up for the people bearing the torch with me. I was letting go and setting down what I thought were my rights before God, and God alone.
I first encountered the difficulty of laying aside expectations as we made our way to Romania. To be honest, I didn’t care for my team much. Then I found out we would be in a small, industrial city to the south called Pitesti with only one other team, rather than on huge dairy farm up north with the rest of the squad. They were near the Hungarian border (If you don’t know, there’s a good bit of Hungarian in me), and I had been planning to go to Hungary while in Romania since before I launched. I was upset! Why wasn’t I getting to have the same experiences everyone else was having? Why wasn’t I with people I liked? Why couldn’t I go to Budapest? Those were the selfish questions I was asking God. Not the prettiest side of me, I know, but what was beautiful was His response. "When was Hungary ever on your race route? Are my plans not better than your own?" He’d proven that time and again, but I was still slow to acknowledge His infinite greatness in orchestrating what was best for me. I soon found out that Pitesti was exactly what I needed. I gained family there that I will never lose nor forget. I got to see beautiful countryside in Romania that I probably wouldn’t have if I’d been distracted by the lure of Hungary. And as for my team, because of conflict, there has been growth, and because of growth, there has been restoration. God is sooo good! Can I get an Amen?
So, this past month, I had to recall my oath on that illuminated night once again. The night before we departed Langata in Kenya, we were informed that our squad was being held back for a week due to an outbreak of the Ebola virus in Uganda. We made our way to Nakuru to position ourselves for easier travel to Uganda when we received the green light. The go ahead never came. At the end of the week, we were informed that our race, our race where we had been told it would be 11 countries in 11 months, would only actually be ten countries in eleven months. I had a meeting planned in Jinja, I was looking forward to working against child sacrifice in our ministry, I was going horseback riding on the Nile at the end of the month… but the Lord is kind, and He showed me His graciousness in the course of my life prior to this change on the race. I gave up expectations, and knew He had different plans for me than my own.
So this past month… I’ve still been in Kenya! Nakuru, Kenya to be precise. We met up with another team, and then 14 women crammed into our hosting pastor’s home for the month. They were so lovely which was SUCH a blessing. We spent the month mainly doing manual labour, shattering the expectation that white people (especially white women) do not work. My farm training came in handy while I was working the weedeater and lawnmower at the hospital where I had an audience of at least ten Africans the whole time I was landscaping. I even had a man take a video of me on his phone as he was passing! The landscaping manager said most Kenyans are afraid of lawnmowers because they’re so unfamiliar, and because we spent the day in plain view of many of the workers, there was a chance they would be willing to train on the mower.
Other ministry included cleaning the church property, going to an orphanage to clean, play with the children, and tend to the garden, we shared the hope of Christ with about 100 children at a youth detention center, and then we partnered with New Life Africa (an orphanage/women’s crisis center) to help feed and organize massive storage containers full of clothing and shoes for the ministry. Half of the women also began a reaching out to the streets of Nakuru by ministering to street kids, feeding children, and tending to the sick and injured. I loved every moment of my time in Nakuru. It was beautiful fellowship with the team with which we partnered, we had an amazing host family, and everything we ended up doing was such a blessing and opened up opportunities to love through service.
I find when I release my expectations of how my life should appear, the Lord blesses me tenfold with His leading and direction.
“I lean not on my own understanding. My life is in the hands of the maker of Heaven. I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open. There’s nothing I hold onto.”
