When I opened my bible this morning, I asked my God to speak to me. He decided to speak through the account from Matthew 14, this story you might be familiar with, this is 2000 years ago when God came down to this earth in the form of man and decided to feed five thousand people with five loaves of bread and two fish. I heard the words of my God once again saying, there is always enough when you are with me.
Walking around the slums here in Nakuru, Kenya I really see the overwhelming need that the people across the world are living in. The small huts, the bloated bellies, the dirty ripped clothing, the children taking care of children, the disease and lack of medical care, the lack of sanitation. There are billions around the world living or barely living. As I held Marcy, a filthy young girl with a small ripped dress covered in dust, who seemed like she hadn’t eaten or drank anything in who knows how long, and when I offered her my water she quickly sucked it dry, as I was holding her and wondering where her mom was, I began to pray. This is all I have felt that I could do this past month as God is showing me more of the oceans of injustice that are taking place all around me.
As I stood up at our last church service in Kenya with the church we had grown to love, I confessed with tears welling up in my eyes that they had treasures that we did not have where I come from. They had treasures from heaven that they were living on that I could never understand. They lead a desperate faith that forces them to rely on the riches of heaven. I also confessed before God and my Kenyan brothers and sisters of my selfishness and that I had forsaken my family across the world.
In Matthew 14 Jesus had just found out that one of his closest friends, John the Baptist had been beheaded, he was seeking to be alone, but saw the crowds who had followed him and had compassion on them and started healing them. As evening approached the disciples told Jesus to send them away so they could get food. Naturally they thought they did not have enough food with 5 loaves and 2 fish, but Jesus told his disciples to bring the “not enough” to Him. Looking up to heaven he gave thanks and broke the loaves, then gave him to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and there was even twelve baskets of broken leftovers.
God spoke to me this morning. “Kate, my child, even though you feel like you don’t have enough, even though you are dealing with struggles of your own, even though the need you see before you seems something greater than you can ever help satisfy; offer to me what you have, look to me, look to heaven and give thanks, and watch as the little you think you have multiplies, faithfully say yes to me and to the people in need in front of you, do not send them away, I will give you more than enough, there is always more than enough when you are with me, so do not use your physical eyes or natural ability, but look to me, receive freely from me and give freely, you will not run out, I will show you how I will always provide for you my child. I want to use you to feed the thousands, but you must trust me and be willing to act on faith, ACT on things you cannot see with your physical eyes, and learn how I open your blinded eyes to the treasures of heaven”.
There has been so much God has been teaching me this month, so much that He is stretching me in, He is changing my perspective and giving me a deeper understanding of my identity in Him so that I can freely LOVE without limits. I can't believe we are at the end of month 5. We are heading to Rwanda at the end of this week and will be spending the next month and Christmas there! Thank you so much for your prayers and love sent over the holiday season. Hopefully soon I will be posting a video of what Christmas is like in Africa:) Love you all and thank you for everything.
