“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (C.S. Lewis The Weight of Glory)
While I was at training camp in the end of May, one of the leaders came up to me during a time of prayer and worship and said “the rain is going to come”. I did not know what this meant and didn’t know what to do with it, but I wrote it down in my journal and trusted that God would speak to me through it if He wanted, so I have kept it at the forefront of my mind.
The rain is going to come. I know that when God spoke of the Spirit in the bible a lot of the time He spoke of being thirsty, streams, rivers, fountains of water, living water, filling cups, drinking…
Jeremiah 2:13 says, “for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water”
I do not think that it was a coincidence that ten out of the eleven days that I was fasting it rained like crazy, I mean this might be a new record for rain in the month of June for Tennessee. As I was reading in Jeremiah and asking God for more of himself, more of His Spirit, I got caught on the words broken cisterns. I looked up the definition and it said: Cistern is a large hole in the ground filled with rocks to collect rainwater.
You may see where I am going with this, but I am going to continue. Now that I am home without a car and a job I get the honor of picking up my mom from work! I know the first question that she is going to ask me, “did we get any rain at home?” (I might add that home is only 5 miles away from work), but she wants to know if her garden has gotten fed of course. Well I got the pleasure of telling her “YES it poured” last week. She got home that day and went straight to the rain gage to see how much we had gotten. She came back upstairs a bit upset saying that there must be something wrong with the gage because it only measured a quarter inch.
My Shepherd, where are you leading me, what are you trying to tell me?
Katherine, my daughter, why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Pay attention, come close now, eat what is good and delight yourselves in rich food, and your soul will live! I see you trying to fill yourself with other things apart from me, you are becoming so full that you can’t find me, but at the end of the day your cisterns are broken, they are leaving you empty and poor in Spirit. Don’t kill the me in you, my child, I offer you streams of living water, I will pour my Love into your heart through my Holy Spirit, I will fill you with the richest of fare. My thoughts are higher than your thoughts, beloved, and my ways are higher than your ways; you have only stood on the shores of my ocean, you have made me too small, but my grace will crash over you wave on wave. Seek me while you may find me, call on me while I am near. Katherine, as you watch the rain come down, remember that it does not return, but it waters the earth and brings forth life! Behold, my daughter, through your brokenness, you shall call a nation that you do not know, and a nation that did not know you shall run to you because of me, because I have redeemed you. I am with you always, rejoice, and be led forth in peace. I love you and you are mine. (Isaiah 55 The Compassion of the LORD)
Through the past 11 days God has spoken to me, and through prayer and fasting He has even given me specific things for the countries that I will be going to. He has not done this because of anything great that I have done, but because of His rich mercy, and He has reminded me of the dry land that He has delivered me from, He has reminded me of the great banquet that He invites me to dine at, and of the poverty (the crumbs under the table) that I often settle for.
I leave for Romania on July 11th out of JFK airport. Thank you for all of your prayers, fasting, and unending support. I don’t understand what God is doing, but I know that He is worthy of the love you have all shown me. I miraculously only have $2000 left to raise! WOW, God the provider is showing up in big ways. THANK YOU!!
Pray for Romania here: http://www.operationworld.org/roma (copy paste in browser)
