I wrote an email in December to a group of my girlfriends back home. In it, I asked them all about the healthy boundaries of a successful relationship. I asked questions which would produce answers that could only be found within the “safety” of a formula. I was seeking something I thought I could find within the wisdom of failures of other humans. I preyed on them, hoping they could give me the secret to a successful, godly relationship. In placing this expectation on all of them I failed to seek my Redeemer in the desire I was really searching for. Protecting my heart.
A bright light in the version of an email came to me a couple of weeks ago. It spoke a truth into my life I’d never heard before. It was so profound and full of deep revelation that I decided I’d be selfish to keep it to myself. I pray as you read the rest of this blog your hearts are opened to the piercing light of truth. All of the ideas and concepts in what follows were written to me by a dear friend. I hope it speaks to you from the heart of our Father like it did for me:
Eight months ago I read Psalm 55:10-11:
Its walls are patrolled day and night against invaders, but the real danger is wickedness within the city. Everything is falling apart; threats and cheating are rampant in the streets. (Psalms 55:10-11 NLT)
God spoke to me through the scripture that day in June and continued to bring it up through my first month of the race. He told me, “you’ve stood guard at the walls of your heart, keeping guard for the enemy not to come in, but you’ve neglected your garden within the walls. There’s things already within the city gates, the garden inside the walls of your heart, that need tending to.” I thought as I left month one of the race I was also leaving the word He’d spoken over me. The weed in the garden He’d seemed to be taking care of seemed to be…taken care of.
What I’ve learned from this is, where a superficial weeding gets you by, a deep uprooting is what’s needed.
The garden of my heart is one I’ve allowed to be trampled through, causing a deep hurt. A deep hurt which has bruised the core of who I am and has crippled my ability to understand and experience closeness with God. A deep hurt that could never be restored through a superficial understanding of a restored garden. And by asking all of my girlfriends how I should best build up my own boundaries, I was neglecting an intimacy and protection of my heart that I can only find in my Heavenly Father.
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En Gedi is a place referenced in the Old Testament. It’s an actual place. You can go there if you ever take a trip to Israel. Geographically, En Gedi is a lush oasis-type place with springs and waterfalls, and beautiful greenery and vegetation. What’s so fascinating is that it’s completely surrounded by rugged mountains. On all sides are high sturdy, strong rocks that act as a natural barrier to this luscious place. Beyond the mountains are miles of desert. I don’t know how many, but miles before you reach any sort of city or village. This En Gedi is hidden within a whole lot of earth.
Question:
With natural mountainous boundaries already surrounding it, why would someone spend their time putting up their own walls too? What are the walls going to add to what’s already there?
Answer:
Someone would only spend time building their own walls if they were still seeing the garden they were living in as the one trampled on and lost, and was walking in unbelief that Jesus has actually restored it completely. The old trampled garden doesn’t exist because it was done away with in the heavenlies the very moment you were born again. When Jesus died, the old garden died too. Now all that is there is the restored oasis. To put walls up is to reject the restored garden, and put effort into man made barriers when it is no longer your garden to protect. Not to mention no amount of human boundaries will actually be effective in protecting, they will only distract you from enjoying En Gedi. The natural boundaries found in rebirth are able and mighty.
Question:
If the surroundings are secure, then what is required of someone who finds themselves there?
Answer:
Abide. Stay there. Know that it’s secure. And do not leave it for anything! It is written, “my people have committed two sins: they have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns (or wells), broken cisterns that cannot hold any water.” Think of En Gedi, upon the discovery of En Gedi. Why would someone leave it to go dig their own well? One that doesn’t even work? Nothing is worth leaving En Gedi. Nothing. It’s your source, it’s your joy, it’s your delight, it’s the safest most secure place EVER.
Question:
How does that work in terms of boundaries with others?
Answer:
Anyone or thing that entices you away from En Gedi–run from them or it. Anyone that respects En Gedi, that seems to honor En Gedi, and one that is invited into it–embrace them or it at the Lord’s leading. It’s a privileged space, and if they have passed the security demands, then they are not there to damage the garden. Only enjoy it with you, and you work together to catch the foxes.
Rather than creating your own boundaries based on past failures that have since been completely redeemed and forgotten, seek what is written about the boundaries already given by God. Then be lead by love and sweetness of the gift of En Gedi, to determine what things entice you that are particular to your own uniqueness. Jesus is fiercely protective of the En Gedi He gave His life to restore. He is verbal and He demonstrates and teaches what He requires of you. Bonus? He also pursues to romance you and show you all He has done to make it safe and delightful and loving for you. His teaching methods are affective. His ways bring life and light. You cannot fail at an effort to seek this—it’s what He wants too.
