Let me just tell you a little somethin about the last 24 hours.
I woke up yesterday morning feeling convicted by my distraction again. For about a week now, I’ve been getting lost in my thoughts. Not taking them captive quickly, allowing them to begin to run towards wild before calling God into the picture. It’s funny to reflect on because even just a year ago I never would have thought twice about the words I’ve said or the things I’ve done. But I guess that’s one of the funny things about The Lord, the more aware we become of our sinful nature the more aware we become of sin itself. We feel it and recognize it and know it as sin in our hearts before anyone else around us can even see it.
So, here I was, waking up to another day of distraction. And I just defeatedly said to God, “Daddy, I’m so distracted. I’m so sorry. I just want to focus on You.” And He said, “Daughter, you’re redeemed. It’s ok. You’re wrapped in my grace.”
A few hours later, conversation of my past came up and I just thought, “My gosh, I’m just so dirty.” God said, “No. I’ve made you pure. You are pure.”
Later on I was thinking of all His unfulfilled promises. Going back to January thinking of every moment I’ve gone through leading me to this day. Still waiting on The Lord. And I thought, “God, I could stop asking you. I could. I could wake up tomorrow and not ask you for what You’ve promised me. I could stop believing You’ve even really promised it to me all.” But almost as quickly as I said it I was already shouting back at Him, “But I can’t! I can’t stop asking and I won’t stop believing. I KNOW what You’ve promised me. I believe in what You’ve promised me. I want more of You. And I will wake up every single day of my life wanting more of you because even after these promises come to pass I won’t settle for just that. There will always be more of You to discover and experience, and I don’t want to miss a moment of it. I will trust in Your timing, I will wait on You Lord, but I will not stop asking and I will not stop believing.”
Then that night, our squad got together for a night of worship. Our squad leader, Lizi opened by asking us to pray in silence for a few minutes, just to sit with the Father. As I shut my eyes, I saw Jesus. Just His face, staring at me. He was so lovely, and He was laughing and smiling back at me. As I admired Him, I prayed this prayer, “Jesus, you’re so handsome. You’re so beautiful. You light up my heart. I don’t desire any man but You. I don’t want their smiles, I want Yours. I don’t want their laughter, I want Yours. I don’t want their lips, I want Yours. I want Your breath on my face and Your words in my ears. I don’t want to be wrapped in their embrace, I want to be wrapped in your embrace Jesus.” Literally right after I said that I wanted to be wrapped in His embrace, I was wrapped in His embrace. He wrapped His arms around me and I had chills all over. Then I prayed what I pray every day, “Daddy, give me eyes to see You, ears to hear You, and a heart that breaks for what breaks Yours.”
I worshipped and praised and prayed for some time. Then another squad leader, Dura, tapped me on the arm, telling me she felt like she was supposed to pray for me. I wish I could quote her beginning to end, because the prayer was perfect. It was confirming, encouraging, prophetic, beautiful, and straight from Daddy’s mouth. But I can’t remember word for word so I hope my paraphrasing will do some justice (I’ll put quotes around exact stuff, the rest is close to it).. She said Kate “you are pure.” You have been redeemed, and you are pure. You’re His daughter and you are clean standing before Him. “He wants you to know that He is so pleased with you.” He loves watching you and walking beside you. “He hasn’t forgotten about you. He hasn’t forgotten what He’s promised you. He’s not twiddling His thumbs.” He’s taking His time and enjoying this process with you, but He wants you to know “it’s coming soon and He wants you to be ready. Get ready. He’s ready.” “Father, give her eyes to see You and ears to hear You.” God, I just pray that you would wrap Kate up. “Specifically tonight, I pray that you would just wrap her in your embrace.”
After worship I had a teammate, Michelle, tell me how when she closed her eyes for worship she saw Jesus in the room, and He was walking around to each and every one or us, wrapping us in His embrace.
Soon after that, I was talking to my sister Haleigh and telling her all of this before bed. She responded saying someone had hugged her during worship but when she turned around to see who it was no one was there.
Needless to say, we all got wrapped in the embrace of our beautiful brother, Jesus Christ, last night. Whether we were open and aware of His embrace was our choice, and it’s your choice too.
I hope and pray you feel the embrace of your Savior. It’s so sweet and He loves you so much.
