In the past month I have been learning about God’s compassion towards me. I had a recent set of events that left me feeling pretty alone and extremely hurt. I was angry at God, myself, and everyone else for the circumstances in my life, circumstances for which I was truly responsible. To make a long story short, I was praying one night and kept asking God to take the pain away and to help me get back up again and move forward. It was then that I heard Him speak to me so clearly, “Kate, you don’t trust Me to heal you because you assume I will treat you people do. You have forgotten my character and I want you to know Me again.”
That really broke me because it was so true! I realized that I had equated God’s behavior to man’s behavior. If I have only experienced judgment or ridicule from people, I automatically assume that is how God will treat me and view me! In this particular situation I was in need of healing but was unable to truly receive healing from God because I didn’t really believe He was a compassionate God in these set of circumstances. I thought, “Sure, God is compassionate….to others, in other circumstances, when it’s a desperate situation. But I’ve screwed things up myself and so why would God want to heal ME?”
That’s when I stumbled across Mark 1:40-42. I began to cry as I read this scripture because it’s so simple and beautiful and shows Jesus’ compassion to heal us when we ask Him!
Mark 1:40-42 says:
40 “And a leper came to Jesus, beseeching Him and falling on his knees before Him, and saying, “If You are willing, You can make me clean.”
41 Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.”
42 Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cleansed.
When I read this I could almost feel Jesus’ heart break, that He immediately reached out and cleansed the man. That is how God deals with each of us every time we come to Him to heal us from brokenness, anger, and every affliction and pain. God never says no to healing His children, never denies us His grace to overcome all things! This scripture is ingrained in my memory and I continually go back to it daily as I find myself falling down. I call upon the name of Jesus to heal me and every single time He says, “I am willing; be cleansed.”
As I have come to rely on this scripture I am humbled because I know that I cannot be compassionate towards others if I do not understand God’s compassion and experience it. I cannot love if I do not accept His love and call upon His love to strengthen and guide me! I am in a messy process of daily learning God’s character again, piece by piece, and it’s so fulfilling to see Him be strong in the midst of my own weakness. As God shows me His compassion for my own circumstances and shortcomings, I am beginning to see myself become more compassionate towards others. It’s a dream I’ve longed to see realized: to become more like Him by walking in faith and standing upon the word of God. He is love. He is all things beautiful. He is what I’m aiming to look like…in the meantime, I find myself on my knees asking Him to be willing to heal me once again and He never fails to say yes!
