To all the people I’m leaving behind,
this blog is for you.
To all the people preparing for a goodbye,
this blog is for you.
If you didn’t know already (or if you’ve been trying to ignore it) I only have about a month and half left before I depart on the World Race. I don’t do math very well but I know that there’s only one of me, and there’s lots of you.
And the moment is going to come when we are going to have to say goodbye. There will be a moment where I am going to have to walk away, and the next time you’ll see me, it’ll be on the other side of 11 months.
But don’t be afraid of that moment. I’m not.
Listen – I have spent so much time this semester trying to make sure everyone else feels okay about me leaving. And that’s good. Because I want you to feel okay about me leaving. Me leaving is hard. Me leaving is sad. Me leaving is scary. I want you to feel all of those things. I want to sit with you and cry, reminisce, talk, hug, or just be.
But in the midst of this, not many people have asked me what I need.
And I really really really really NEED YOU.
I have discovered that there is a difference between being ready to GO on the Race and being ready to LEAVE this all behind.
I think I can be ready for one, but not for the other.
Right now, I am absolutely ready to go on the Race. I have my gear, I have support, I have spiritual and emotional preparation. I’m ready – there isn’t a doubt about that.
But I’m not ready to leave.
I think we have a tendency to avoid asking for the love that we need. My own pride keeps me from saying this, but I really need you. I need you to ask me about how I am feeling, to ask me if I’m ready, to ask me what I need.
Sometimes, I won’t know the answer. But keep asking. I need people to walk through this transition with me. I need people to ask me and ask me and ask me and ask me.
And this isn’t about asking me for the sake of asking me, or for the sake of getting things checked off a list.
This is about asking me because you care, and because you really love me.
Because I know you do.
You’re reading this blog, aren’t you?
So, ask me: what do you need, Kate?
Or, if you don’t know what to ask, ask: What should I be asking you about?
I hope, I pray, that as you read this, you remember that you are enough. Even if you are feeling like a failure of a friend, hear me: YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are not a failure. But take a moment, step away from those lies, and remember that ultimately I already have a Savior who has already asked me what I need, and given me everything that I could never ask for.
But I believe Jesus wants to use the people in my community to serve me, love me and meet my needs. He wants you to ask, just like He did.
So maybe before you ask me what I need, you first need to tell Jesus, our Savior and Lord, what you need. He will open your eyes.
“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.” (Mark 10:51 NIV)
Update: I have 40 supporters, so I am more than halfway to my goal of 70. One thing I need is your support. If you feel lead, consider supporting me financially.
