To my surprise, I have had quite a few people ask me why I have not posted a blog in awhile. Truth be told, I did not realize that they were actually being read, but I am giddy that they actually are. While nothing is really pressing on my heart to write about right now, I figured I would at least give everyone a current update on everything that has been going on in my life and in my heart in regards to the World Race.
On May 13th, I graduated from the University of Georgia. Graduating college is normally a milestone that most everyone looks forward to for years. For me it was different though,. I wasn’t excited about graduating; I didn’t even want to attend my own graduation ceremony. It took me 5 years to graduate with an Accounting degree after changing my major 4 times, but honestly I probably checked out of school about 2 years ago. I did not have the typical college experience that a lot of my friends had and in a way I resented my circumstances for that. I worked my entire way through college waiting tables and bartending which meant early mornings for class and late nights for work. I went to 2 football games in 5 seasons and missed most of my social gatherings with my friends. I spent the last 2 and a half years barely scraping by in the Tull School of Accounting program at UGA and beating myself up over the fact that I was not as smart as some of my classmates. I was stuck in the comparison trap of grades and seemed to conveniently forget that I was taking full class loads, and working full-time to support myself. I struggled (and still do) to give myself grace. I always thought that once I graduated all of that would change and my life would be so different and quite frankly a little bit easier. I will get back to you all on that because I am only 2 weeks out of school at this point and a week of that was spent on vacation with my boyfriend (keep reading for information on him), but right now all I feel is a lot of uncertainty in my future.
The hardest part about graduating for me was the fact that my dad was not there for it. It will be 3 years in July since he passed away and I wish I could say that it gets easier, but in all honestly I think that sometimes it just gets harder. My graduation was the first big milestone in my life that he has missed and it almost stopped me from taking part in my graduation ceremony. I couldn’t imagine going to a ceremony knowing that he would not be the first to give me a big bear hug and a bouquet of flowers once it was over, but I did it. It was heart-wrenching and I cried a lot of tears the morning of while I was getting ready, but I kept him close to my heart like he always has been. Thinking of the rest of the milestones he will miss like walking me down the aisle, when my first child is born, etc. is almost like a small form of self-torture but it is a reality. I struggle on a daily basis to see God’s plan in his death when he was still so young with so much life left to live, but I grasp tightly to the fact that his body is healed. He is free from all the pain and the suffering of this cruel world, and he is right where I long to be: dancing at the feet of Jesus.
On June 13th, I will be starting an internship with Deloitte in Atlanta in their Audit practice. Deloitte is one of the Big Four Accounting firms and this internship is nothing short of a blessing from above. It is a 10 week, full-time internship and it will give me my first glimpse of what I would actually be doing with the degree that I fought so hard to get. It will be unlike any job I have ever had, and I am not sure if I am more nervous or excited but I can get back to you on that. Forty hour weeks in business attire will be a little out of my element, but change is good right?
Speaking of change, I might have a big one coming my way in the next couple of weeks. My heart has been pulled about a million different directions about when exactly I should be launching to go on the World Race. October launch is 130 days away and approaching quickly but for some reason I have been unsettled and anxious about it. I have spent the last 3 weeks praying that God will clearly reveal to me His plan and timing for my World Race journey and I am hoping to have a more definitive answer in the next few weeks. My heart is already connected to my squad mates and some of the countries we are planning on traveling to, but ultimately my answer will always be yes to whatever God asks me to do. Whatever date, whatever route and whatever team He places me on will put me right at the center of His will for my life and that is right where I want to be.
Then there’s fundraising… the big, looming cloud over my head when it comes to the World Race. It’s a big number financially to raise. I don’t make nearly enough money to fund that on my own if I don’t meet my goal, so my trust in His provision has to be greater than ever. I have raised a little over $5,500 and I am overjoyed about it. It’s been three months and the amount of support I have received has been nothing short of overwhelming. People I haven’t spoken to in years have responded and given financially and some of my friends who I know do not have the money to give have given selflessly. It has shown me just how big our God truly is. He is changing my heart tremendously when it comes to reaching out and asking for help. Spoiler alert: I have a HUGE pride issue when it comes to finances so asking for help is like pulling teeth for me. But the fact of the matter is that I have no way to do this on my own. Moral of the story, God’s got this. His people have this. He will provide and bless me with what I need through others to make this journey happen. For those of you reading this who have given, bought a t-shirt or adopted a day… THANK YOU. You could never possibly understand how much it means to me and how much of a blessing you are.
*quick plug: if you are interested in buying an “all nations” t-shirt let me know and I will make sure to get you one (I can mail them too). The shirts are $20 and I have about 18 shirts left to sell. My goal is to have them all sold in the next 3 weeks
The next cloud looming over my head is all of the gear I will need for the race. It’s a pretty big cloud, but not as big as the fundraising one. As most of you know, we will be living out of a backpack for 11 months. Yes that’s right, a backpack. Some of you might try and figure out how exactly that is possibly and truth be told I am still trying to figure all of that out myself. Anyway, we are required to have an extensive list of gear for our launch in October, but also for our 10 days of training camp starting on August 10th. If you have ever been camping before, or ever walked into an REI, you would know that this gear is far from cheap. The thought of all of the gear I am required to buy has made me nauseous up until about 2 weeks ago when God blessed me tremendously through an alumni World Racer. Her name is Rebecca and I met her through mutual friends at the gym. She went on the World Race 7 years ago (I think?) and has been such a huge help with all of my silly questions and concerns that I have been too nervous to ask other people about. She bought a t-shirt from me and when she came to pick it up, she not only handed me the check for the t-shirt, but also her sleeping bag, sleeping pad and a packing bag that she used while she was on the race. It took everything in my power not to cry like a baby, but I couldn’t wipe the huge smile off of my face knowing that I had 3 pieces of the extensive packing list that I am required to have. REBECCA YOU ARE SUCH A BLESSING! It’s so funny to me how God provides through His followers- i love it.
I have had a few people suggest to make a “wishlist” for my gear for the World Race and ask people to donate gear instead of money. I am working on getting a list together and will hopefully be posting that in the next few days. I will take anything that you guys are willing to donate, seriously. It could be new, used, an REI gift card, appropriate ministry clothes… anything. This girl will gladly take it all. Look out for that list in the next few days!
And finally what most everyone probably wants to read about… Charlie. My sweet, handsome and incredibly supportive boyfriend. I have probably said it about a million times, but he deserves an award for how much he puts up with dating me. I have never met a man so kind, selfless and loving than him and he has been such a precious gift from God. He has taught me how to embrace vulnerability, love without hesitation and I long to learn how to give so much of myself to others in the ways that he does. We have been dating for probably about 6 months now (we didn’t know an exact anniversary date so we made one up) and it has been filled with a lot of ups and the occasional downs as well just like any normal relationship. Facebook and Instagram aren’t what our relationship looks like on a daily basis. There have been a lot of tears, a lot of prayer and a lot of hardships along with all of sweet, sappy posts that I make on a frequent basis. I know what you are thinking… 11 months is a really long time to be apart. Yes. We know that. We realize that. We think about that constantly. I think the question I get asked most often when it comes to the World Race is “What about Charlie? How are you guys going to make it?”
The first time he met my aunt she asked him that and I think it has been my favorite answer so far. His response to her question was, “A lot of faith, and a whole lot of prayer”. My heart melted. We know the giant we are facing. We know the mountain we are about to climb. We know that it is going to be far from a walk in the park. But God- our Creator, our Perfect Savior and the One we owe our relationship to is on our side, and we are leaning into Him on this one. It is pretty much the only thing we know how to do. I could write a novel about the heartache the both of us are going to face in different ways over those 11 months, but I could also write a completely separate novel about the lessons we will learn, the way we will learn to treasure our time together once I get back, and the way that we will appreciate the times that we will get to talk while I am gone. God will teach us how to love each other better, be more patient with each other and also how to be fully present in the time we do get to be together from now on.
Just in case you wanted to drool over him like I do:
So here I am now- 130 days away from launch and desperately clinging to God’s promises that He speaks over each of our lives. My path seems a bit uncertain and it is, but I would rather live right at the center of God’s will for my life than anywhere else. I am going to continue to lift my eyes to Him in the middle of this uncertainty and trust in His plan and provision.
Please continue to reach out with questions, give if you feel led to, and lift up prayers for me, my family, my friends, and our team in this crazy journey that we are on chasing after God’s heart and longing to spread the Gospel.
