A few days ago, some friends and I were discussing post-race plans. After several weeks of no word from the potential employer that I had an interview with, I was feeling particularly discouraged. Besides, even if I did get this [super ideal] job, how on earth am I supposed to pay for deposits, first and last month’s rents, etc. etc. etc. to be able to find a place to live in order to actually work at that job. I have 37 days left on the World Race and I’m already out of money, let alone getting home and then having to handle moving expenses. Needless to say, I was beginning to feel a bit foolish for this hair-brained idea of moving to TN to become a Preschool teacher. There is no way I could actually pull this off.
Anyways. Back to the conversation. So my dear friends and I were having a light-hearted conversation about various plans after the Race. I made a comment about how one person (planning a road trip) could come visit me in Southern Alabama. ….. Busted…
Being the amazing friends that they are, they immediately picked up on the comment and called me out on it. No, you will NOT be in Alabama, you will be in Tennessee! They then spent the next minute grilling me (in love) and reminding me that my God is so much bigger than money or jobs. So why was I letting something so small compared to my God get in the way of the dream God had given me? One friend went on to remind me of Peter when he walked on water. As long as he stayed focused on Jesus, he stayed steady. But the moment he got distracted by the waves he began to sink. My friend reminded me that even though the odds may seem against me, I need to continue to stay focused on my Jesus and what he has called me to.. and let him figure out the rest. I sighed, nodded, and agreed to meet him in Tennessee instead of Alabama.
This morning, a few days after the conversation with my friends, I received an email. While there are still a few things that cannot be finalized until I hit US soil – I have been tentatively offered a job. And not just any job, but the job I wanted at the school that offered me the best options. While my mind was spinning with excitement and thankfulness, I also couldn’t help but almost immediately jump into all the what-ifs and now-whats. So many things still are undetermined and unknown. I walked on top of the waves for a brief half hour before crashing back into the depths again. Why do I always do this?
A few hours later, my team gathered for a time of Worship. As the worship session went on, it seemed that I was continuously brought back to this imagery of walking on water. Evidently I was not the only person who felt this way, because my teammate shared today’s devotion out of My Utmost for His Highest. I will let the esteemed Mr. Chambers finish this blog. I have a lot of learning left to do, but I suspect I’m not the only one. May his words be an encouragement to you as well.
…Peter…walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid… —Matthew 14:29-30
The wind really was boisterous and the waves really were high, but Peter didn’t see them at first. He didn’t consider them at all; he simply recognized his Lord, stepped out in recognition of Him, and “walked on the water.” Then he began to take those things around him into account, and instantly, down he went. Why couldn’t our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves, as well as on top of them? He could have, yet neither could be done without Peter’s continuing recognition of the Lord Jesus.
We step right out with recognition of God in some things, then self-consideration enters our lives and down we go. If you are truly recognizing your Lord, you have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers your circumstances. The things surrounding you are real, but when you look at them you are immediately overwhelmed, and even unable to recognize Jesus. Then comes His rebuke, “…why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31). Let your actual circumstances be what they may, but keep recognizing Jesus, maintaining complete reliance upon Him.
If you debate for even one second when God has spoken, it is all over for you. Never start to say, “Well, I wonder if He really did speak to me?” Be reckless immediately— totally unrestrained and willing to risk everything— by casting your all upon Him. You do not know when His voice will come to you, but whenever the realization of God comes, even in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself, surrendering everything to Him. It is only through abandonment of yourself and your circumstances that you will recognize Him. You will only recognize His voice more clearly through recklessness— being willing to risk your all.
