I am BLOWN AWAY by God’s grace.
I spent the entire day yesterday overwhelmed with discouragement. I had given up. After checking my account several times a day for a week and seeing no change, I decided to throw in the towel.
*Despite my gear being miraculously provided for and arriving in time for camp
*Despite so many people believing in my mission and supporting it
*Despite so many things falling into place, and doors being opened
*Despite the overwhelming peace of being in the right place
Despite everything, I let the enemy whisper enough words of defeat and failure into my ear. And I decided to quit.
As I was writing letters to my squad mates telling them I was not going to be able to go to training this weekend or leave in January with them, I felt the nudge to go check my account one more time. Expecting to see the same number I had seen for days I almost choked realizing there was over $1,000 more than what I expected! I still am $700 short though, so with tears in my eyes, I continued to write my squad mates and admitted defeat. Not 10 minutes later I got a call from my amazing Mobilizer who had read my post and was checking up on me. After chatting with her for a few minutes, once again my heart and faith was restored.
The good news? Despite training camp being in 4 short days, She agreed to give me a few more days to pray about it and seek some people out about giving. After all, God provided $1,000 where I was least expecting it. So what is $700 measly dollars to the owner of the cattle on 1,000 hills?!
So with renewed energy, here I am.. Gearing up for one last push before this extended-extended deadline. After some quick calculations, I decided that I only needed 50 people to give $15 and I will meet my deadline. I already have one person who has agreed to give– so make that 49 people!
For as much as I have tried to give up on God, I am blown away by His grace! I totally deserve for Him to stop providing for me, yet He has chosen to show up and step in time and time again.
This is the God I serve. The God who provides my needs, even when I don’t believe he will. The God who continues to take me back when I deny him over and over. The God who gave me calling, and refuses to let me walk away from it. The God who loved me so much, he gave up everything to save me. This is the God I serve. This is the God, whose name and gospel I will proclaim across 11 countries.
