so this is it. (the final edition)

 
My flight to Miami leaves in a five hours.  Then, a few hours later, I'll board my plane to Washington, say goodbye to the people I’ve called family for the past 11 months, and fly straight into the craziness of D.C., which has suddenly become the unknown.  
 
And let me tell you, I.am.freaking.out.
 

This is hard.  Really hard.  Harder than I thought it would be.
 

When did the ridiculous life I’ve been living
for the past year become normal?

     When did everything change?

I've prayed over the feet of future missionaries in an underground Bible college in China.  I've spent hours upon hours in a Mozambican corn field.  I've walked for miles in the freezing cold snow of a Romanian village to comfort a dying grandfather.  I've gotten lice from a Honduran girl broken by the horrible experiences of her 14-years.  

Throughout this year, I've had incredible opportunities to love and serve the people society has forgotten, to see God move in miraculous ways, and to be humbled by the strength and perserverance of the global Church.  
 

And now, I'm going home, back to the safety and security of America.  

Back to the land of Target, free refills, and air-conditioning.

Back to life as I know it.  

my heart, though, is crying out: 
Wait… is that it? 
 

 A few days ago, a squadmate challenged us with this idea:  

What if this isn't the end – but actually the beginning?  

What if this whole year wasn't just a journey of being sent out to the nations for 11 months, but rather a training period preparing us to be sent out to the nations as our lifes' mission?  

To live in abandonment.  To live in service of others.  To live in the Truth that Jesus is real and moving today.  
 

But not just for a year…

…for a lifetime.  

"but the thought led me to imagine what it must be like for God to be present at the rape of all the world's child prostitutes, at the beatings of all the world's prisoners of conscience, at the moment the last breath of hope expires from the breath of each of the millions of small children languishing in bonded servitude. as i would approach my God in prayer, i could hear his gentle voice saying to me, 'daughter, do you have any idea where your Father has been lately?'" 

So, this is it.  I don't know where the Lord will take me throughout my life, but for now,
I know that He's taking me to America.

Jesus is moving there, too, you know.

and I'm determined to be a part of it.  

Dying to myself in order to serve.  Dying to myself in order to put others first.  Dying to myself in order to live.  
 


11 months.  15 countries.  40 people.  Z Squad.

HOME.

Get ready, America.  I’m coming home.

(To read the first edition of “so this is it.”, click here.)