An excerpt from my journal: The less scratched out version
My excitement for the race has not dwindled, but other emotions have set in.
Hi. I’m Karly: a lover of quality time, hugs, journaling, singing, coffee, and kids. I am also messy, impatient, and a full time procrastinator.
For about a month or so I have gone back and forth on posting in my blog wanting to have to ‘right’ words to say. But I have realized there will never the the right thing to say nor the right time to say it.
I just need to share my heart.
For the past 3 years going on this journey has always been in the back of my mind. Something that was a dream, a constant knocking in my thoughts, something I wanted so badly: to see the world and to see it with new eyes. To get uncomfortable in my life. This past year I completed my first year of teaching. I taught special education at the elementary level, and boy was it a learning year! In the beginning, I was so excited and expectant of great things, but I had no idea what was in store. I experienced challenges I never thought I would face and moments where I wanted to give up so badly. To hide myself away and run – – but I couldn’t. If you don’t know me, I smile a lot. I smile because I am happy, but also because I don’t want others to see the other stuff. The pain, the sadness, the sorrow. This past year, I tried to smile through it all, to let others see I was okay, but I wasn’t. The first half of this past year was spent in constant questioning of who I was and what I was doing.
Then January came around; a brand new year. Even though I hadn’t felt prepared physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, God never stopped knocking on the doors of my heart, begging me to let him in, have faith, and TRUST Him.
When the new year began, I decided to truly start anew. I made a commitment to trust him with my thoughts, hopes, and dreams through journaling every day. I also decided to follow my heart and apply for the World Race.
Take that leap. The time is now.
I could hear these thoughts so clearly and all I could say was: WHY NOT?
After 3 years of wanting & 3 months of applying and waiting, the dream has become a reality.
Since my acceptance, the smiles have not ceased, the tears still flow, fear of what’s to come sometimes takes over, but one thing is for certain: He is faithful ALWAYS.
Never give up. Keep pushing forward even when you want to give up and don’t look back. What lies ahead is so much greater.
