I remember that day like it was yesterday. Feels so close, yet so far. It was July 2013. I was sitting in a conference room at the Holiday Inn in Atlanta, GA. There were more than 200 people around me. I was feeling excited about what the future had for me. My heart was burning with a deep desire to go to the nations and share about my Daddy to everyone I met.
I knew that the Lord was going to do things in me that I had never experienced before and was looking forward to leaving all my life behind. I left my church, my job, my friends, my family, and my nation. Everything. Gone. I was getting ready to leave on an 11-month incredible, life-changing journey that I longed for and nothing was going to stop me.
Here I am. It’s January 2014. It is month 7 on my journey. I am in sitting on a bed in a hostel in Laos. I am tired. I miss home. I want to be on MY bed and be able to worship at my church on Sunday, just like everyone else is back home. But, I am not home. I am in Laos. I never thought I would be feeling this way. Yes, you are right. It’s that one word that I dread. Homesick. After this month, I only have 4 more months before I head back home. All I can think of is what in the world am I going to do when I get home? I don’t have a job because I gave it up for this trip. I don’t have a car because I sold it for this trip. I don’t have an apartment because I gave it up for this trip. What in the world am I going to do God?
And that’s when it happened. He said that he was not done with me. That there is still more He has for me these next few months on the race and that I need to make room for the “but God” moments by focusing on Him. He asked me to surrender everything to him, my anxieties, worries, fears, everything.
I said yes.
One piece of advice that a friend gave me from her experience was not to resist the process, welcome the unknown, and let my heart feel the pain (of being homesick) so that I can experience the joy. To be myself, laugh, be goofy, and listen to people. Yes pray. Yes prophesy. Yes preach. But to not let those things define my relationship with God and my worth. The bible talks about those who went to the Lord saying, “Did we not heal the sick, prophesy, raise the dead in your name? He said yes, but you never knew me.” She prayed that these next couple of months, I would learn to BREATH and to know that if I never did another thing for God, He would love me just the same.
Sometimes it’s the little things that we need to be reminded of that carry so much weight in our hearts.
“The race is what you make of it, just like every opportunity. Many racers expect the race to fix things for them, to be this ultimate, every moment, life-changing thing, and it can be, but you have to work for it. Be constantly listening and following God. It doesn’t just happen. The tools of feedback, community story sharing, and the rest, are there to help everyone to make the most of it. It’s not about just surviving the race.” -World Race Alumni
