A few days ago I went to Starbucks with my team. After being there for a few hours, I was bored and wanted a change in scenery. Heather was going to go to meet up with Laura (our squad leader) and I decided I would go with her. Little did I know that this decision would change my life.
When we found Laura, she was telling us that the Real Life staff was looking for leaders for this Summer, then she asked me if I would like to be one. Right then and there she asked me to pray about it. So I did, and I actually listened to see what He had to say. He spoke over all my doubts and said very encouraging, “Go for it.” I asked Laura why she thought I should be a leader. She said that she would like to see me in a leadership position. She then asked me why I don’t want to do this, because the reasons I didn’t want to were the reasons that I should. The first obvious reason was that I wanted to go home, I wanted to be with my small group and my friends. I have really missed the teaching at Brook Hills and that community so much, I was ready to go back. The other reason, was that I didn’t think I could actually be a leader. I have been around some amazing leaders these past 4 months and I don’t think I could do what they do.
So I told Laura I would have to talk to my parents about it, but that I was pretty sure the Lord was leading me to do this. Well, at house church, that “pretty sure” turned into a “YES”. I got so much confirmation at our contacts house church. We met a friend at her apartment and I asked her, “What are y’all studying?” She said that their house church was “Spirit led” so they study whatever the Spirit tells them too. That kinda freaked me out. I don’t know what that means, but okay.
So during worship one of the guys from the group stood up and said, that he felt the Lord saying that he just wants us to say “yes”. He looked right at me when he said this. Heather looked at me and knew what I was thinking. Then someone said that the “Lord wants to exceed our expectations” of course He does, He want us to be so dependent on Him that we can’t but trust that He will. Then I got another confirmation, someone said that we can’t turn down things because we aren’t “qualified” He qualifies us. I felt like the Lord was telling me that I am ready for this, that He will supply and provide and guide me in this next step. One of my team mates was praying for me and said that Acts 13:2 came into her head. It talks about how Paul and Barnabas were “set apart” for the Work of the Lord. The Lord has set me apart to lead this trip. The funny thing about Acts coming into her head, is that I had been studying Acts for the past 4 months and have been learning so much about Peter, Philip, and Paul’s missionary journeys. Learning from the early church.
As if I needed anymore confirmation I called my mom. I told her that I felt the Lord leading me to lead a real life trip. I was expecting a lot of opposition, because I faced it before when I decided to go on the Race. But surprisingly she said that she would support my decision.
I told Laura I would do it and the next few days were filled with talking to people at AIM and having interviews. I kept waiting for them to say no to me. But they didn’t. When I was told that I was accepted and that they would love to have me as a leader. I was so excited and I felt so much love for the girls I was going to spend the next few months with. It’s weird, how can I love people that I haven’t even met, but I do. It’s only through the Lord and by the Lord that I can.
I was talking to another squad mate about it and he was really encouraging when he said that I would make mistakes, but that it’ll be okay. God is sovereign.
The hardest part about this process was telling my small group that I would not be home this Summer. It will be hard to be away from my family and friends, but as I told my friend Sarah, what else would I be doing? Working a job that I didn’t like? I want to invest in people as they go through this journey! I’m excited to see how much they are going to grow and how much I am going to grow.
A selfish reason for doing this is, that one day I hope to be overseas, and I will have teams come to me, so I need to be a leader so that I will know how to communicate to leaders. But I’m so excited for this summer. It’s going to be awesome! It’s going to be hard. I’ve already vowed to be better at communicating this Summer than I was the last four months!
Please pray for me as I go through this weird transition of saying goodbye to my team, squad, and going back “home” only to enter into a new community. It’s going to be a bittersweet next few weeks. Also pray for the $1500 that I have to raise…if you feel led to support me just click on the support me tab! 🙂
I’ll be leading a team to Nicaragua where we will be in Jinotepe doing evangelism, preaching, construction, service projects, door 2 door, working at a senior center and rehab center. Plus a lot more! Thank you for all your support.
