So, these past few weeks have been really tough. I know God has a plan through it all, but I didn’t realize I would be facing such adversity. My philosophy is that the only time the enemy is allowed to do anything in our lives is when the Lord allows him to. In any struggle or trial, God is working something amazing into my heart. Of course, that sounds so great when everything is going so well! I thought I was OK and that I was this super spiritual person who had it all together, but I am not who I thought I was. As a matter of fact, I would love to take an extended vacation from myself. In the past two weeks, I have been through every stage of emotion from happiness to sadness, from compassion to bitterness. Most of it has been filled with my bitterness toward others and their actions toward me. I am beginning to see that I am hurting inside and it’s coming out in these awful ways. I am seeing my sinful nature and it STINKS! I am seeing that apart from my Jesus, there is nothing good about me. I have nothing to offer without Him offering it through me. Last night, I was at a time of monthly worship with my church and the Lord spoke something very clearly to me (that I definitely needed to hear) He said, “I am pleased with you.” And I said, “Oh great God! You’re pleased with me?l!,” And God said, “See, what you don’t understand is that my son lives inside of you. That is who I see when I look at you. I am pleased, but it has nothing to do with you. It’s all about JESUS!” At that moment, I was humbled. All these things that are coming to the surface these past few weeks is my BEAUTIFUL SAVIOR being implanted more and more into my life. My heart hurts so bad right now, but I know it’s all so I can attain more of Him. I just want more of Him. He is all that matters. He is the One Who reigns. He is the One we will be with for eternity. I am just going to cling to my Jesus for perfection and stop trying to do it all myself. Praise the Lord there is freedom. Last night, I was with a good friend and she told me something that was life changing, yet so simple. She said, “All God requires of us is that we love Him and love others.” The more I thought about it, the more I realized… She is so right! What freedom we have in our Savior, KING JESUS!!
