Coffee shops.
So many of my watershed moments have occurred in coffee shops. I applied for the World Race at a coffee shop. My most inspired papers in college all happened in the confines of a Jittery Joe’s (it’s local to Athens, GA). I can’t even count how many times I’ve been convicted and encouraged by friends and strangers alike in coffee shops. And last week, when I was in utter despair about not meeting the second financial deadline, my meltdown happened in the parking lot of a Starbucks.
6 days from now I desperately hope that I’ll be reunited with the members of my squad and about to launch on the World Race. And for the most part, I believe that it will be so, but my faith is proving exceedingly slippery these days. And for good reason, wouldn’t you say. I keep replaying everything that has led me to this point—and I have to wonder if I got it all wrong. Did the meaning of it all get lost in translation?
Recently, I was expressing these same concerns to a friend in a Starbucks (bet you didn’t see that coming), and she encouraged me to write down what she described as my Monument Moments. You see, the Israelites of yore were fond of setting up monuments by which to remember God’s faithfulness. A classic example can be found in the book of Joshua when after miraculously crossing the Jordan River, the Israelites composed a memorial of stones to mark what God had done for them there.
I want to attempt this here. I need tangible souvenirs of pending promises He has made to me, moments that have propelled me to now, supernatural encounters that have solidified this trip in my head and heart. Because not remembering is eroding my faith, soiling my trust in the greasiness of doubt so that it is slipping away from me.
- I told the story of how I first heard of and made the decision to apply to the Race here (so I suppose, without even realizing it, I’d already started compiling my Monument Moments). Shortly after applying to the Race, I met one of my squad mates from my original route for a service at a church in my city. Toward the end of the service, a lady called me out and said: “God is saying, ‘Go out and conquer. I will provide.’” It is important to point out here that this was my first time at that church, and no one outside of my immediate family, close friends, and squad mates knew I was doing the Race.
- I believed her and still do because this is not the first or last time God has assured me or charged me with something using prophesy as a conduit. I received my baptism when I was 15, and right before my pastor dunked me, he told me that God promises to provide for me specifically in the area of my education. True to form, I received two generous scholarships for college.
- Before training camp, I thought for sure I would have to postpone my Race again because I didn’t have the requisite financial support to participate. Fueled by angst and a whole lot of righteous indignation, I cried out to Him. I wanted to know why it felt very much like I was being picked on (I had a lot of nerve). A few days later, I logged on to find out I had far exceeded the deadline amount.
- It gets better. Going into training camp, I was of a mind divided: do I go in January or September of 2015? This was my secret; no one else knew that I was in conflict about when to launch. But the third night into camp, while we were worshipping, one of my squad trainers (hey Andrew!) came over, hugged me, and said, “That decision you need to make, God will help you make it. He will be glorified through it, and you too will be glorified as a result.” I was immediately awash in peace the likes of which I’ve never in my entire 24 years felt before, and I knew—in a way I cannot adequately express to you—that I’m meant to leave on January 6, 2015.
There are still others besides that I could tell you about—spiritual words from friends and strangers, divine pictures that people have gotten for me about the Race, wacky coincidences, even rebukes from my mom about missing out on important things when we tamper with God’s timing because of fear. But the biggest reason why I feel constrained to fight for this stems from my own interactions with God. As I’ve watched all my squad mates make their deadlines one at a time, as I’ve read and heard their incredible, miraculous stories of provision and grace in their preparations, I’m tempted to think that there might be something wrong with me. I’m sorely tempted.
Yet …
And yet …
When has He ever failed me, and when did the Race become about me?!
Come Friday, I get to have a lovely chat with Kayla, my mobilizer, about whether I’m leaving on January 6 or postponing my launch to a later date, in which case my route would change. It would be very easy for me to behave as unresolved as I feel right now. Instead, while my future is still a colossal question mark, I’m going to fight tooth and nail to trust Him, to have faith in His process and timing, for this desire He has placed on my heart, and for next Tuesday, January 6. I hope you’ll rally to my cause.
It is not too late for me to make the deadline; I only have $1,216 to raise to meet the goal. So if you feel constrained to rally with me, click the Support Me link to make a donation. And when you have done so, kindly forward your e-receipt to my mobilizer at [email protected]. This is because the fundraising portal doesn’t update until 4 days after a donation has been made online, and Kayla will need an accurate total of my support raised to inform whatever consensus we arrive at on Friday. Thank you so much!
