Sorry for the lack of updates here in Nicargua. I have to pay for internet and I have found I am enjoying spending my time with my squadmates or curled up with an ebook rather than sitting at the internet café. But God has been teaching me a lot this month.
We came off our week of debrief we me realizing that there were many lies I believe about myself. It all stems from the fact that I do not feel like I am good enough for anything. Even though I have always had people to speak life into my life, there were always someone speaking death over me. Unfortunately, I choose to believe the lies people would speak over me.
During our first week in minisrty we spent A LOT of time picking up trash from the streets. No it is not the most glamourous job, but it did give me a lot of time to talk to God. Most days would start the same¨
God- This is what your life looks like. The lies you have been living in are like this garbage.
Me- I do not want to live with all this garbage in my life! How do I get rid of it.
God- You let me get rid of it. Stop holding on to it.
Me- Im not really sure what that looks like, I have only known what living with the lies looks like. What am I going to do?
God- Do you trust me? (said just like Aladdin)
Me- Yes
God- Then be ok with not knowing and know I have your best interest at heart.
Me- ok
At the end of the day we turn around and see what the fruits of our labor are, a beautifully clean street.
God- It´s beautiful just like you.
At the end of the week we took the garbage we had been collecting and put it in a huge pile. It was then time to get rid of the trash the Nica way…to burn it. As we began to burn the trash this is what I heard.
God- This is what I want to do to those lies. To burn them. Once something is burned it cannot be brought back. Let me burn these lies so I can restore the identitiy I have planned for you.
So I stood there and watched as my garbage went up in smoke. I am ready to be truely free of these lies. I am ready to walk in the Identity my God has written for me.
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I am still in need of over $2000 before my next deadline, which is about a month away. If you have been thinking about helping now would be a great time! Any little bit helps. Just click the support me link in the left side of the blog and follow the instructions. Thanks so much!
