How do you sum up eleven months of your life? How do you fit them into a few words, a few sentences, or a few paragraphs? How do you describe the joy, the trials, and the adventure that floods your mind, carried by the memories of the people you love so dearly? How do I adequately thank those that brought me here? I'm not sure it's entirely possible. But this blog is my best endeavor.
I began this adventure with timid steps and a half-exposed heart. Fear held me back from countless moments and relationships. It had it's grimy hands around my neck and was clinging on for dear life. But somewhere along the way, things shifted.
Christ began to call me to more. I quickly understood that I am not called to a life of mediocrity. There's a burning passion rooted deeply in my soul to love people that no one else will love. And I began to realize that the places God was leading would not always be pleasant. But I would have to love with an open heart, regardless of the outcome. People's responses would not be able to dictate my love. I would have to fully trust Christ with my heart and believe that He is truly capable of holding it in His hands.
And, I am here to tell you that He is more than capable.
His love is all that this world needs. His compassion is so fierce. It will leave evil trembling with it's face to the floor in reverence and in awe. It will topple over insecurity and addiction. His love is everything. I can't live without it. If I go a few days without just sitting in it, then I don't feel like myself. It is the most real experience I have ever had.
I want people to look at me and crave Christ. I want them to see Him through every single move I make. I want them to notice Him by noticing me. I want His love to be overwhelmingly apparent. Whether I am at the grocery store, the library, or my job, I want Him to be seen. He is the most important thing about me.
So, where does that leave me? As this Race comes to a close, what now? Where do I go?
For starters, I am so excited to announce that I will be attending the Bethel School of Worship. This is a two week camp which focuses on all forms of worship. I will sit in guitar, piano, and voice sessions at Bethel Church in Redding, California. I will have the honor of hearing from some of my favorite worship leaders in the world. And I will learn more about walking in the freedom of worship. Without asking one person for money, God covered the entirety of this camp and paved a way for me to attend. I stand amazed at the provision of my sweet Jesus.
Secondly, I will pick up with my junior year of college beginning in the fall where I will be working toward a journalism degree. My two greatest passions are writing and telling people's stories. This seemed like a logical way to merge the two.
Third and the most exciting is that I am going back to India! In case you missed this blog post, India stole my heart. I ache for her. I am homesick for her. And next summer, I will be returning for three months. I will be partnering with an orphanage in a remote village that specifically houses the children of the temple prostitutes. And I may even get to see the women that inspired the blog post mentioned above. My heart leaps for joy as I watch how God illuminates this path and I can't wait to share more information with you in the months to come.
The Race is over. Saying goodbye to my team will hurt terribly. I have never loved or been loved as freely as I have with these six other people. They are my family. I will miss the spontaneity that comes with packing up and leaving every month, only to arrive somewhere different. But I am so excited. I can't wait to curl up on my mama's bed and talk for hours. I can't wait to hear my best friend play the guitar. I can't wait to go to my family reunion and hug every single one of them.
But mostly, I can't wait for the rest of the adventure. I can't wait to see where Jesus leads me next. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life holding His hand and seeing the world with Him.
And thank you. Thank you for praying, for crying, for laughing, for living this life with me. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Thank you for believing that Christ could use me. Thank you.
