I am a hard boiled egg because I am meant to be broken in order to get to the /good stuff/ that has been slowly forming. Slowly I have been grown and changed just like the egg cooks; then, like a shell coming off an egg, I am broken,revealing unique beauty. God doesn’t want me to try and put the pieces back together by myself. No… that would be like putting a broken shell back on a hard boiled egg, pointless. God wants me to accept and even embrace my shell coming off because that means he is riding me of the old so I can share my different /good stuff/ with the world.
Recognizing this, I might have allowed myself to be boiled saying something like “God shape me and mold me!”, but I certainly didn’t put water in a pot and light the flame. God did it. God initiated the boiling process because he knew if I knew what it would feel like for my pieces to fall down, I would have never jumped in the water. He knew that if I knew what it felt like to rid myself of old and be molded and shaped by him, I might not have asked for growth in the first place. And I think that’s where we as Christian’s, or humans in general for that matter, struggle when it comes to wanting to grow but not wanting to go through the process of growth.
Right now I feel like a hard boiled egg on the edge of a table that rolls off and smacks the dirty, Indian concrete. It hurts like hell but God has slowly boiled me and prepared me for this exact moment. He never left my side through this process that I will go through again and again throughout my lifetime and he never will. Even when I left him because things got tough or because they were so easy that I thought I could do it alone, he welcomed me back with open arms. Even when I cast him aside and attributed all my growth to myself and then watched the worldly things that gave me glory fade away, he still welcomed me back. Like the prodigal son’s father he welcomed me back and clothed me in riches and said “my daughter!! I missed you!! Thank you that you returned to me!! Welcome home!”
I know this in my heart. I know God will always be there for me when I am changing, when I am breaking, and when I am in full bloom. I am ready to crack completely even if it’s over and over so I can pour out all my whites and yellows and any other color for that matter so that people will see my transformation and give glory to God. Praise be to God that nothing can stop my transformation because it has already started, the flame is already lit so watch out. Let go, and let God.
………..another ending for a broken heart’s
desire……….
I just want people to be there for me in every step. The boiling, the cracking, and the revealing. However, If not a single person comes with me or witnesses a change, I will be more than ok because I can rest in the fact that the creator of the universe has already walked through this with me. He will never leave and he will never forget.
