Growing up going to church, I heard all the stories of the Bible. I learned about Noah and the Ark, Moses, Abraham, the disciples, and of course Jesus. And as I grew older, I searched for answers on life and challenged these beliefs I had learned. As I searched and questioned, I could not deny the things God was doing in my life and the truth of the Gospel. I came out confidently believing the things of the Bible; that there is a Creator, that I am a sinner and can never be good enough on my own power to be worthy of this Creator, but that Jesus came to earth to take my place and make the payment of death so that I can enter into a relationship with the Creator.
But it was not all easy to believe. I mean a lot of things in the Bible are things I have never seen or experienced and are very hard to believe can actually happen. But that is where faith comes in. In the book of John, Jesus says, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Of course if someone got to walk with Jesus and see all the happenings in the Bible, it would be easier to believe, but it is better to have a faith that allows you the confidence to believe things even if you have not personally experienced every single one. God blesses those who have that kind of strong faith.
But coming on the Race there were a lot of things people were saying that I was wary and skeptical of. Certain practices and doctrines I had no personal exposure to. Things like speaking in tongues and prophecy and healing. It forced me to turn to the Bible to see what God says about these things and talk to believers in my life to gain different perspectives, in order not to just take peoples’ words for it. I am not one to be spoon fed beliefs, but want to challenge even the things that may seem easy to believe.
As I read and discussed, I found a lot on these topics that pushed against my strong skepticism. And the beliefs I had formed were challenged. I had chosen out of fully believing in things like miraculous healing because I had not seen it and found it very hard to believe. But time and time again in the Bible it talks about the miraculous wonders and continual healing that Jesus and his disciples performed. It happened. And the same God of the Bible is the same God here, today. The same spirit who worked through the disciples is the same spirit living and working through us today. I believe in God, a higher being who created mankind, so why could I not believe in that same higher being also healing his creation?
This was something that I have been wrestling with since training camp of the Race. I have been seeking to take these things that I know to be true and know I should be fully believing, and actually genuinely believe.
And God stepped in to help me along in this. The church we partnered with in Ireland has a ministry called Healing on the Streets that we were to be involved with that month. We were to attend a session there to prepare us to work in this ministry. As I walked into the session, my guard was up. I was excited to get to hear another perspective and learn more on the matter, but knew I did not want to take everything I heard automatically as truth.
So as the session went on, I fought just about everything I heard, trying to find fault in it. But almost everything that was said was being backed up by scripture and explained perfectly to where I was at on the subject. I learned that we need to have a real genuine faith, to truly believe healing can occur. I learned that as followers of Christ, we have the authority from God, the living Holy Spirit inside of us, to do amazing things in the name of God, to ask for bold things and to cast out things that are not from God.
Towards the end of the session, came the time for a demonstration, to see what Healing on the Streets actually looks like, to get a real example of how things would go. So members from our squad were picked, who were struggling with some sort of physical problem, to go forward and be prayed over. As we gathered round, I was focused so intensely, not to miss a thing, allowing myself to truly believe that God can do anything, but preparing myself for nothing. But as I watched, my mind could barley comprehend the things my eyes were seeing, amazing and unbelievable things.
I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence, and I saw God move. I witnessed miracles.
This was one of the most incredible things I had ever seen. Something I saw with my own eyes and yet found hard to believe. Something that was so crazy, I didn’t know what to do with it. I felt hesitant to share. I mean I had heard many stories of healings and miracles, and had found them so hard to believe, actually questioning what people had seen and what the real story was. I don’t want to put myself in a position where people question my word and think I’m one of those crazy people. And believe me, I questioned every aspect of it, considering how my eyes and mind could have been deceived, and talked to my also initially skeptical squad mates who had been healed.
But I’m here to say, it happened. Whether I want to believe it or not, and whether you choose to believe me or not, I witnessed a miracle. I saw God heal. I serve a God that loves us so much, he chooses to do amazing and unbelievable things through us. I serve a God that cares about the small things going on in our life and the effect they have on us. I serve a God that gives grace and loves us through our unbelief. And whether I never see another miracle again or doubt and skepticism creeps back in, I will choose faith; I will choose to believe.
