Answering The Call

     Some of you may know but many of you do not (this will be a long blog, PLEASE read it all, you’ll really want to).  God has been teaching me some AMAZING things!  He has taught me a lot about surrender.  He has taught me that He truly just wants each of us to be WILLING to give up things, to surrender them.  This doesn’t ALWAYS mean that He is going to take them away from us.  God is a loving God who puts desires in our heart and loves us each very much.     

     Things the Lord has taught me to surrender…. Before I left for the race God asked me to surrender going to my best friend from college’s wedding!!! Talk about something hard to swallow.  I kept thinking “I seriously don’t get to go to a once in a life time event.”  I easily knew that this day would be the absolute hardest day on the race.  At first I thought it might be the Holidays but then I realized, those will happen again.  BUT not Rachel and Jeremy’s Wedding.  But God asked me to surrender that right.  So I did.          

      While I was in Ireland I learned a lot about how to build my relationship with Christ and trust HIM before I trust anyone else.  This has always been a hard thing for me and easily relates to the issue I have about people remembering my name (something that God has done amazing healing with for me and I don’t nearly have this issue like I used to, PRAISE!).  I was faced with having to address this issue first hand.  I had to tell the man I Coach softball with that there is no chance of me coming home to coach softball this year.  I told him I am completely committed to whatever GOD wants me to do and right now that is to be on the World Race from June to May.  I learned in that moment to start trusting people and God.  I had to trust that our friendship was bigger then just coaching together, BUT I fully surrendered coaching to the Lord.    

      I don’t know that I ever revealed this to anyone through my blog but while I was in Haiti (3 months ago) my Grandma Nierodzinski was diagnosed with Lung Cancer.  The cancer was actually in her Lungs, adrenal glands and some vertebrea.  As I started praying for her God kept convicting me time and time again with the verse “Let the Dead Bury the Dead”  I continually kept thinking, no, no, no.  If something happens to my grandma I WILL go home to be there.  BUT God kept at it with me, He was asking me to surrender to him.  So when we first got to South Africa I finally decided to let go.  I wrote my grandma a letter saying How much I loved her but I made a promise God to do what HE wants me to do because this life I am living is one for HIM.  With that I mentioned in the letter that I wouldn’t be coming home if the Lord called her home while I was on the race.  Since we have had such limited internet access I never got a chance to send it to her.  

   About two weeks ago God started convicting me.  In different ways He was telling me that my World Race is over.  He told me to go home.  As much as I loved what I was doing I felt a huge amount of peace about making the decision to return back to the United States.  Josh and Lia, our squad leaders, asked me what doors the Lord was opening for me at home.  As I went through what my life could look like when I returned home I started to realize what God was doing.     

      My parents bought the house next door to us and my grandma moved in about 3 or 4 weeks ago.  I figured I would live with her in this new house and take care of her while I was home through January.  Then I would go Coach Softball.  Then during the summer I would apply for Catholic Heart Workcamp.  Then since I was accepted to Grad school I would leave for that next Fall.    
      As I was speaking all of this out I started to see more clearly what God was doing.  He asked me to surrender certain things and he was turning around and blessing me with them since I was willing to give them up.  He was calling me back home to be with my grandma while she was sick, Coach softball (a place where my heart truly is at), and go to my best friend’s wedding.  How cool is that?        

       Well it gets better!!! So after we decided that we all had peace about the situation and that God was truly calling me home, we arranged for a flight.  Friday night my flight was booked, Saturday I travelled 12 hours to get to the airport.  At this time only ONE person knew I was coming home, Coach D.  Not any of my family or friends knew.  Well I check my email once we got into the city.  I had one from my Mom.  It said that my Grandma had bronchitis/pnemonia and she wasn’t sure if this would speed up the process or just be a cold.  INSTANTLY any doubt about whether this was the right decision I had made about coming home vanished.

 

  (Me with my Great Aunts and Grandma in Buffalo, NY right before I left for the World Race)   
     God was ALREADY moving.  He had me coming home before I was even told that my Grandma was getting worse.  So I boarded the plane Sunday morning and I left Africa and travelled for 32 hours to get to the United States.  After staying in Indiana Monday night I happened to talk to my sister and found out that Monday night they had to take my grandma to the ER.  So Tuesday I went and picked up my sister and we went to the hospital.      

      It was so awesome to be able to suprise everyone when I got home.  As I walked into the hospital I suprised my mom who immediately started to cry but was so excited to see me.  I walked into the hospital room to see my Grandma and she lifted herself up some off her bed and started smiling as her eyes lit up!  She tried to ask me a few questions but it was really hard to understand her.  I stayed with her for a few hours and she progressively got worse and worse.  I had to leave that night to return a car I borrowed to get to the hospital.  The next morning I was told that my Grandma passed away at about 1 a.m.     

     How could I be too upset about ANYTHING right now?  I just experienced God’s divine intervention.  HE brought me home because HE was calling my Grandma to Him.  HE gave me the opportunity to see her one more time.  To tell her that I missed her.  To tell her that I love her.  To pray over her.  To let her have a little more peace as she lets go.  God BLESSED me in such a HUGE way that I can’t write it down on paper to truly give it justice.  He brought me home to be with my family through all of this.  Praise the Lord.

 (Lance and I giving my Grandma a smooch)

     So for a quick wrap up.  I am home now in the United States because this is where God wants me in my life at this point.  I loved all the places I went to, all the challenges I experienced, and I would not change this experience in anyway.  I love all of my P-Squad family and miss you dearly!!! But I also want you all to know that I am completely peaceful (even though I’m already experiencing struggles here in America) about where God wants me.   

 (Grandma, Me, and Grandpa at my cousin Brooke’s wedding a few years ago)

     I believe that my blog will be turned off.  With that being said my email is

                               [email protected]    
       If anyone has any questions or anything PLEASE feel free to email me! I would love to talk to you all.  There are many stories and things I have learned that aren’t posted on this blog.  Anyways I love you all and thank you so much for going on this journey and ALL of your support in all fashions.  Please continue with me on this journey by reading my squad members blogs and supporting them.  They truly are a part of my family and I will be praying for them constantly and I hope you will too.