Modesty

 

Before I turned 12 I wore outfits like bell bottom jeans with red stripes on the bottom along with a red striped shirt. I’d wear ponchos and other not particularly fashionable clothing as well. Looking back at photos of me from this time I have no idea what I was thinking with the outfits I chose to wear, but what I do know is that at that time of my life I did not care about other people’s opinions.

At 13, however, that changed. I started shutting people out and putting on masks. One of those masks was people pleasing and closely tied to that is the desire for others’ approval. I was constantly aware of my wardrobe and how it fell short. My friends had style and I didn’t. I hated pictures that were taken of me and I didn’t feel pretty or beautiful by any means.

Looking back at those photos, I honestly don’t know why I hated them. I was actually pretty, albeit a little awkward.

Have I overcome that struggle of feeling self-conscious and not feeling beautiful? No, I’m still working on that. I admit that freely because I also know it’s a struggle so many women face today and are ashamed to admit it. Keeping that struggle (and shame) in the dark just lets it fester. It doesn’t do you any good, it certainly didn’t do me any good. I constantly compared myself to those around me and I never felt like I measured up. The thing is though, most of the girls I compared myself to probably felt the same way.

My point for writing this blog and sharing this with you is not to talk about our problem with comparing ourselves to others, but to talk about modesty. It’s a topic that women, especially young women and teenagers, are tired of hearing.
I have heard many messages on modesty, soo many, and I was tired of hearing the lectures and the teachings too. I hated how being modest was always addressed to women and that I didn’t feel I’d ever look cute in “modest” clothes. This blog isn’t about what’s modest and what isn’t though. That’s not for me to tell you. What it is about is the importance behind it.

One of my friends, Andi, wrote something on modesty last year and it really hit home with me. One of the comments I got as a teenager and heard a lot in talks was “modest is hottest.” My friend wrote on that saying, about how modest is not hottest. Modesty doesn’t draw attention to our body or what we are wearing. We’re most of the time going to go unnoticed, but our agenda and point should not be to gain that attention. How we dress, just like how we act, think and speak, should reflect Christ. It should show that we are in the world, but we are not of the world. Modesty is what we do to honor not only the men around us, but most importantly God. I have heard a thousand reasons why I should dress modestly, but we really should only need one: God has called us to a higher standard and a part of that standard is modesty; we should be obedient to that calling and honor our Father in Heaven not out of obligation, but out of our love for Him.

Till Next Time,
Kara Faber

 

****A Note For Men****

Men, do not think that the issue of modesty is only an issue for women. That it is women who need to cover up. Hold yourself to higher standards in what you wear because women struggle too. And realize that there is a responsibility on your own self for what you are thinking and where you allow your mind to go to. As your sister in Christ, I never want to be one who is cause or reason for you to stumble, but we live in a world that doesn’t have those same views. Ask God for the strength you need to keep your eyes focused on Him.