In these last couple weeks since training camp I have been praying about this post. It has become one of those posts that gets rewritten multiple times because you don’t like how it is flowing. One where you end up deciding to scratch it and just write about the fun things that happened at training camp instead.
But doing that would be replacing the masks that are being so painfully removed. What I learned at training camp is that removing the masks I’ve created and worn is a painful, uncomfortable, hard and long process. I’ve learned that being authentic is harder than it would seem because to be authentic you have to know who you are. I’ve learned that the journey to finding my identity, grounding that in Christ and being authentically who God made me to be is not one I’m doing on my own but one God is walking along beside me on.
At training camp I realized that my identity was placed in the masks I wore and there was few things that was actually authentic that I let others see. A lot of this was due to the fact that I didn’t know who I was anymore (and not even I knew that). I didn’t know what was authentic and what was a part of the masks I had created.
But since training camp and journeying through this process of finding my true identity and placing that in Christ I have learned a lot about myself. Some things that I’ve found are actually really cool and makes me regret having buried it away. And some things that makes it hard to continue this journey as they reveal parts of myself that needs processing over.
If you haven’t already figured out, training camp taught me a lot (and this isn’t even the half of it)! I am so grateful for that. One of those many things though, is that we are all messy and broken people. We are people who do not want others to see our weaknesses and so we cover ours up with masks. We want to appear to be perfect and have this perfect life. The truth is, no one has that perfect life or can be perfect themselves. We are ALL broken and messy. When we live our life for the approval of others the authenticity of our lives fades away as we put on mask after mask in order to be what our society, culture, family and friends expect us to be. But when we live for God and only desire to please Him that is when we find our true self and can grow into who Christ created us to be. We can be authentic and unique, and most of all we can experience such a pure and peaceful freedom that only God can give.
This journey, as I said previously, has not been an easy one so far. It has been hard and growing. Growing pains hurt. But I have enjoyed the process. One of my squad mates told me that we need to enjoy the process because the process lasts longer than the outcome. When I get to the top of this mountain, I won’t be there for long before there’s another, different mountain to climb. So, it is in the process that I need to find joy, not just in the outcome.
I can honestly say that that is true. Though I have learned some painful things about myself like my desire for control, along with dealing with emotions that I have stuffed down and suppressed for years, I am also to speak truth into the lies I have believed about myself. There was a tool given to us at training camp to help with this, and in fact there are people who read this out loud to themselves every day. Because it has helped me fight the lies, I am wanting to pass it on to you all.
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Truths About
Who I Am In Christ
- I am the salt of the earth – Matthew 5:13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the walt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.”
- I am the light of the world – Matthew 5:14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden”
- I am a child of God – John 1:12 “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name”
- I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ’s life – John 15:1,5 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”
- I am Christ’s friend – John 15:15 “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.”
- I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit – John 15:16 “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.”
- I am a slave of righteousness – Romans 6:18 “And having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.”
- I am enslaved to God – Romans 6:22 “But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life.”
- I am a child of God; God is spiritually my Father – Romans 8:14,15 “For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”” Galatians 3:26, 4:6 “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!””
- I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him – Romans 8:17 “And if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.”
- I am a temple-a dwelling place-of God. His Spirit and His life dwell in me – 1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19 “Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?”
- I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him – 1 Corinthians 6:17 “But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.”
- I am a member of Christ’s Body – 1 Corinthians 12:27 “Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.” Ephesians 5:30 “Because we are members of His body.”
- I am a new creation – 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”
- I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation – 2 Corinthians 5:18,19 “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.”
- I am a child of God and one in Christ – Galatians 3:26,28 “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
- I am an heir of God since I am a child of God – Galatians 4:6,7 “Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God.”
- I am a saint – 1 Corinthians 1:2 “To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, with all who in every place call on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours.” Ephesians 1:1 “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, to the saints who are at Ephesus and who are faithful in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:1 “Paul and Timothy, bond-servants of Christ Jesus, to all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi, including the overseers and deacons.”
- I am God’s workmanship-His handiwork-born anew in Christ to do His work – Ephesians 2:10 “For we are all His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”
- I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God’s family – Ephesians 2:19 “So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household.”
- I am a prisoner of Christ – Ephesians 3:1; 4:1 “For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles. Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called.”
- I am righteous and holy – Ephesians 4:24 “And put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.”
- I am hidden with Christ in God – Colossians 3:3 “For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”
- I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life – Colossians 3:4 “When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.”
- I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved – Colossians 3:12 “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” 1 Thessalonians 1:4 “Knowing, brethren beloved by God, His choice of you.”
- I am a child of light and not of darkness – 1 Thessalonians 5:5 “For you are all sons of light and sons of day. We are not of night nor of darkness.”
- I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling – Hebrews 3:1 “Therefore, holy brethren, partakers of a heavenly calling, consider Jesus, the Apostle and High Priest of our confession.”
- I am a partaker of Christ, I share in His life – Hebrews 3:14 “For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end.”
- I am one of God’s living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house – 1 Peter 2:5 “You also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”
- I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession – 1 Peter 2:9,10 “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
- I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live – 1 Peter 2:11 “Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.”
- I am an enemy of the devil – 1 Peter 5:8 “Be of sober spirit, be on the alert, Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
- I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns – 1 John 3:1,2 “See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Believed, now we are child of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.”
- I am born of God, and the evil one-the devil-cannot touch me – 1 John 5:18 “But He who was born of God keeps him, and the evil one does not touch him.”
- I am not the great “I AM” (Exodus 3:14, John 8:24,28,58), but by the grace of God, I am what I am – 1 Corinthians 15:10 “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.”
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This journey also allows me to learn about myself in other ways too. One example is my personality. It has been a fun experience in this area. An area that I have easily found joy in, but in order to tell you about it, I have to tell a story.
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The World Race has a lot of information you have to fill out. Their application is extensive, their interview is like nothing I’ve ever seen before; but if you thought that there wasn’t any more paperwork to do once you are accepted then you couldn’t be more wrong.
Amongst getting your passport, travel and medical information in as well as how you plan to fundraise (and take a fundraising course), you also have to fill out a ministry bio that are given to your ministry hosts and complete a Meyer’s Briggs personality test. This is all done PRIOR to training camp.
Before training camp, my squad talked a little bit about our personality scores over our Facebook group chat, but that could not compare to the conversations we had there at Camp. I cannot count how many conversations there were, or how many times I heard “Hey! What’s your Meyer’s Briggs?” This wasn’t even always directed at me or even in my squad! EVERY squad was having these conversations. Meyer’s Brigg’s was just a huge conversational topic—and if you ask my squad, it honesty still is.
So, like every other good racer, I completed this 70 question personality test. If I’m being honest, I took it a lot. Finally, I got a score that I kept which was ESFJ. An ESFJ can be known as the Consul or Teacher type. The ESFJ stands for Extrovert (focuses outward, gains energy from social surroundings), Sensing (here and now people who are factual and process things based on the 5 senses. They see things as they are and are concrete thinkers), Feeling (are subjective and make decisions based on principles and values. They are ruled by their heart instead of their head. They make decisions based on feelings and extenuating circumstances), Judging (Judging does not mean “judgmental.” Judging people like order, organization and think sequentially. They like to have things planned and settled. They seek closure). This is a great personality, but unfortunately, it isn’t mine.
Like I was stating above how I have been journeying through this process of being authentically me and take off the masks I have worn for so long, I have learned why I wore the masks. A huge part was because I felt like who I was did not meet the expectations others had for me. I wasn’t good enough. Because of that I started creating masks that did meet the expectations.
So in my time since training camp I have retaken the Meyers Briggs taking the time to answer it as authentically and honestly as I could. What it showed is that I am an INFJ.
- Introvert – Focuses inward; gains energy from solitude and self-reflection.
- iNtuitive – Focus on the future and possibilities. They process things through patterns and impressions. They read between the lines and are abstract thinkers.
- Feeling – Are subjective and make decisions based on principles and values. They are ruled by their heart instead of their head. They make decisions based on feelings and extenuating circumstances.
- Judging – Like order, organization and think sequentially. They like to have things planned and settled. They seek closure.
An INFJ, also known as the Advocate, is very rare making up only 1% of the population. Below is an excerpt from 16personalities.com and meyersbriggs.com.
INFJ’s indeed share a very unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong willed, but will rarely use that for personal gain.
INFJs find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms rather than with pure logic and fact. It makes sense that their friends would come to think of them as quiet extroverted types.
INFJs place great importance on having things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand.
INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex.
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This is one of the areas that brings joy to my journey. Learning these tidbits of a part of myself are just as important as learning and dealing with the hard things. This journey has certainly had it’s moments of joy in the midst of the growing pains. I have been able to see the glimpses of beauty that it is full of. And though, some days it’s hard to take those steps forward, I know that the process, though hard, can be (and is) a joyful one that God takes us on one step at a time.
If you have questions, want to know your Meyers Briggs, or even want to discuss it I am always here. Feel free to leave a comment or message me directly.
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Prayer Requests:
1. My squad’s second financial deadline has quickly come upon us and is this Friday. Thirteen of my squadmates haven’t met their goal yet. Would you please join me in praying for God to provide and meet this need?
- God is amazing isn’t He? To know that He provides for every missionary on the field, has provided for hundreds of World Racers (this year alone), and so much more ceases to amaze me. I know that God is fully capable of meeting these needs and I cannot wait to see how He will do so not only this week with my squadmates but also in this next year.
2. Please continue to pray for spiritual growth over myself and my squadmates in these last 20 days (Is it really only 20 days?!). Pray that we will continue to be obedient to the Holy Spirit and allow God to work in us even if it’s hard.
3. Continue to be praying for Cambodia and the people there. We, as a squad, will be traveling together from Atlanta, Ga all the way to Phnom Penh, Cambodia and then will go our separate ways. Pray for the ministry hosts as they prepare for us.
4. Please be in prayer for the last minute preparation, packing, saying goodbyes, and travel to Atlanta for myself and all of my squadmates. It is these last 20 days that are going to be extremely hard in all areas (spiritually, physically and emotionally). Pray that we will cling to God and His goodness while we experience the difficulties in saying goodbye.
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Till Next Time,
Kara Faber
