“Keep everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God prices your fingers open”
Corrie Ten Boom
I woke up today in a sleepy haze.
Ready to pour my mostly sugar and cream instant coffee, throw my flannel on, and walk barefoot downstairs to whisper good morning to the sweetest little faces still asleep in their beds.
I woke up ready to pat their backs and gently break the news to them that it was time to leave their beds and get ready for school.
I woke up ready to sip the hot coffee while helping them to start their chores and hear them ask ‘sister play game?’ Before it was time to get on the Tuk Tuk and leave.
I woke up ready to play through the beautiful routine we established last month.
But then I realized it was all over.
I’m not at the children’s home.
I’m not even in the same country anymore.
So I started to ask God who would be there for them. I asked Him who would sweetly go to each bunk bed and gently wake up the two kids who were sleeping in a tiny twin bed.
Would they wake up still knowing they’re loved?
Would they wake up and receive hugs and snuggles so they could begin their day?
Who would love them while our team is gone?
A new team is coming next week, but will they love them well?
And when they leave, who will continue loving them?
Anne Michaels questions from her last blog rang in my head-
“Can love last?
Can it take care of someone when you are absent?
Can what we sow in love really make a difference?”
As my heart ached and longed to be back in Cambodia and be surrounded by their sweet faces God reminded me of my Nana who passed away.
He reminded me of how deeply she loved me. He reminded me that how deeply she loved me was only a glimpse of how unconditionally He himself loves me.
Even though she is gone, the impression of love she left on me will never leave me.
How well she loved me while she was here made such an impact that it allowed me to love the kids as much as I do, because she showed me what that looked like.
God asked me to believe that He can love the children exceedingly abundantly more in His physical absence than I could in a lifetime of being present.
So while it still sucks being away and knowing I won’t be able to go back for a while, I have peace knowing that God is always with them. I have peace that Gods promise to never leave them as orphans of forsake them holds true. I have peace knowing that the Holy Spirit is within them and therefore they are never alone or without love.
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Nehemiah, John, or Sam, if you’re reading this, please tell the kids how much we still love them even though we are away. Let them know we still pray for, think about, and talk about them all the time!
And so give them LOTS of hugs from us!
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Thank you SO much to everyone who reads my blogs, texts me, emails me, funds me, prays for me, and just loves me from the other side of the world! What you’re doing makes a HUGE impact in my life and in the Kingdom of Heaven!
